Did you stop to add this up?

Dear Teachers at my younger two children's school,

I am writing to advise you that we are not made of money. I also feel compelled to inform you that we do not have a money tree, nor have we recently won a lottery. I feel it necessary to share this information because this morning I took two of my children school supply shopping, and it was a complete shock to my system. We were not even able to locate everything on their lists, and we spent one hour gathering the required supplies. Imagine my horror when the girl at Target insisted that I really did owe her $107.62 for an incomplete school supply list for an eight and five year old. The five year old won't even be in school full time. I tend to get carried away from time to time, I admit. I have a hard time sticking to budgets, and I tend to over-indulge. That $107.62 however, did not have one item that was not on the list. Not one item that was bought over a similar but lower priced item just because it was cuter. No, this was the bare bones, requirements only, not even complete yet, school supply list. I suppose I should have known I was in trouble when I realized the price of admission to our neighborhood school's second grade, required the purchase of 41 school supply items. Forty one. Really?

I am having a hard time understanding how it is that my eight year old is required to have 48 sharpened, hoighty-toity name brand sharpened number 2 pencils on the first day of school. In the great state where we live, our schools are required to offer 180 days of instruction. Near as I can figure out, this means you expect my child to lose his pencil every 5 days. He lives in his own world, but even he can manage to hang on to most of his pencils for longer than 5 days. Additionally, is it really necessary to stipulate a brand of pencils? I'm still trying to explain to my eight year old why it is that the pencils he has saved every time he's been given one (usually at school) over the past year, are not suitable to be used in second grade. Honestly, I'm still trying to understand it myself.

Moving on, I try to be fairly understanding about problems teachers face, however even I am having a hard time with grasping that my little boy needs two sets of 24 colored pencils (sharpened, of course), because they're not allowed to sharpen them at school. I understand teachers nerves can be on edge, and I can appreciate that listening to and waiting on children to sharpen pencils are not the most enjoyable things in the world, but doesn't that 'go with the territory'? No, evidently not. Thick and thin markers, I can understand that, I suppose, I just hope I get to see some colorful work that shows me they've been used. Three packages of crayons seems a bit excessive to me, but as I found them at a loss-leader price, I'll skip over that. Ziplock bags in two different sizes, I can understand that. Two large boxes of tissues, per child. Gross. I'll give you those, no problem. I probably would even recommend you add the giant hand-sanitizer and disinfecting wipes next year that the kindergarten teachers required. Highlighters, ruler, erasers, I get that, no problem. Folders, binders, composition notebooks, OK. Headphones? Dry erase markers, 4 large glue sticks, check.

I'm trying to understand how in 270 days of school, my little munchkin is really going to need 400 post-it notes. I'll buy them. I just can't imagine that they are vital to the educating of my child when neither of my older children have ever been required to buy so much as one pack. One more thing, second grade teacher. I would appreciate you cluing me in as to where I can buy a one subject, 150 page count spiral notebook. Of course, I only spent an hour looking, but we can find 70 page notebooks (with cool! exciting! fun! characters that my son would LOVE to have), we can find 150 page 3-subject notebooks, but if you're going to require something fairly obscure, could you also tell us a source to buy from in the future?

Kindergarten teacher, I don't mean to leave you out. Mostly, your list is more reasonable, but 24 glue sticks? Seriously? I'm having a hard time understanding this requirement. Even more so because, since the advent of No Child Left Behind No Child Gets Ahead; cute, fun, creative kindergarten projects have gone the way of the dinosaur. When my son was in kindergarten two short years ago, the only gluing he ever did was on ditto busy work.

I really do appreciate your teaching my child. I get that the hours are long and the pay is not great. I'm sure it's a pain in the ass to deal with us parents. I'm sure it's not news to you, but guess what? Prices are rising out there. It's all I can do to afford gas for my car and food for my children to eat. Probably a lot like you. Please give that a thought next year when you're putting together the school supply lists. Maybe we could buy one of the things that are truly needed, and if you start to run out, or the item gets used up, you could send me a note, and I promise to buy more. I realize many of you have not become parents yet, or your children are long grown, but please understand my little one in your grade is not the only little one I have. Multiplying these lists times two, three or more children adds up quickly. Please don't complain when fundraising totals are down. When I order the most basic of basic packages of school pictures. When I have to think twice about joining the PTA. I try to budget for the beginning of the school year, but I have now completely shot that budget, and we haven't even finished buying the supplies. It pains me to think we don't even have the high school list yet.

Sincerely,

A caring, supportive, but broke parent.