It's so much easier when they're little...

Edited to add: OK, life gave me a nice little smack in the face of reality today that it's not always a piece of cake when you're five either. Julianna has a friend at school (not in her class) that she LOVES. This other little girl is much cooler towards Julianna. Julianna's heart is so hurt that Dana doesn't want to spend every minute at recess with her that she can. I know life can hurt at any age, still as a mom, it's just so much harder when they're older and hurting/struggling.

I have always said, and I don't mean to offend anyone by this, but trust me, IT IS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE. My 16 year old's heart is broken right now and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. I can't tell her what to do, I can't make it better, I can't do anything, and I really, really hate that. She's having to come to terms with the reality that maybe she has outgrown a group of friends. That's hard. It's hard to move on. She has the opportunity to go away with them next summer on an awesome church trip. I didn't realize she was hesitating until today. I thought it was just typical teenage procrastinating.

Yesterday, I got a letter in the mail from our previous Pastor. He made me feel like he did not want her to go on the trip. To be fair, I don't know if that's really how he feels or if our history is just so convoluted that I can't see anything concerning him clearly anymore. Anyway, that's how I felt. I called the person in charge of the youth group and she made it clear that she did not know about the letter and very much wants Rebekah to go. She feels she's a great asset to the group. The pastor's letter made it clear at the very least, that he has concerns about her joining in on this trip, however. NOT because of anything about her, but because we are not attending church there anymore. Even though his attitude in the past has always been that all kids should be welcome to join in on everything, including the National Youth Gathering, whether or not they go to this church. We are still members of this church. I told Rebekah that he has added some stipulations to the trip, seemingly aimed at our family. He wants to know our intentions after the trip. I can't predict that. A great deal would depend on how the next year went. It could end with us going back to this church, it could end with things being like they are now with Rebekah active with the youth group, and the rest of us at another church, it could end with any number of the other kids attending choosing not to attend there for any number of reasons. Anyway, I shared with her what was going on. It was like a dam breaking. She cried and cried about how she doesn't even know if she wants to go on the trip anymore and proceeded to share some of the trauma and drama that's been going on with the group. As I said, I think the basic problem is she has outgrown the group and she's not quite ready to let go. It hurts. It hurts me so much that I can't help her with this. I wish she was five again and I could kiss a boo-boo away or invent some special treat that completely makes her forget her angst. I can't. Her hurt is real, and it's big, and I can't help. I've said it before, but sometimes it's really not fun to be the grown up. I just pray that all of this does not get mixed up in her head with God, and that she's able to separate church issues from having anything to do with God. I would absolutely hate to see her lose her faith.