We didn't have school on Friday. The kids and I headed to a local, fun, upscale shopping center for some window shopping, errands, fun. A good time was had by all, until...
We were at a new toy store and I was buying a couple of things for Jacob and Julianna. This store has the same policy everyone seems to now, buys something, give them your personal info., they'll send coupons and special offers when you've spent a certain amount of money.
"Have you shopped with us before?"
"I'm not sure, possibly at one of your other locations."
"Okay, let me look it up. Your last name?"
I told her.
"Oh, here it is. E*** _____________?"
No, that's not it, I corrected the info.
Rebekah looked at me. I sat there and was (silently) very, very angry.
Nice to know my in-laws, the ones who live 15 minutes from us yet have zero interest in seeing my children, seeing their son, telephoning to see how things are; are out toy shopping. Yes, they do have two other grandchildren. Two grandchildren who, through no fault of their own, made my children expendable. Jacob misses his grandpa, although he doesn't really remember him. He just remembers he was "fun" and "silly". Julianna has no idea they even exist as she has not seen them since she was 2 years old. Rebekah? She hurts. Badly. The last time she saw them she was 12. She remembers them well. To her, they were a part of her life. At one time, a very big part of her life. Then, gradually, they just dropped out. They stopped calling, stopped being interested in visiting. Stopped everything. There was no fight, nothing. Just big nothing.
Mark's older, it hurts him, but he's able to understand the concept of treasuring what you have, and letting go of what you can't have. Rebekah's not there yet. She hurts. There's a hole. I'm afraid there always will be. She teared up and cried off and on over the next hour, then she was busy with other activities and left it behind for the time being. Till the next time...
Unfortunately there will be a next time when something rips the scab off and brings back the hurt of their complete disappearance and disinterest from our lives.
I pray she knows it has nothing to do with her. They are flawed. They are incapable of accepting and reciprocating love. To walk away from my beautiful children, their wonderful son, they have no understanding or appreciation of what they're missing. It truly is their incredible loss.
As for Rebekah? I try to teach her that she's luckier than many, many people. She has a lot of people in her life that love her completely. Her big brother, her sister-in-law, my parents, Mark, Jacob, Julianna, me. People that would literally walk across glass to do anything for her. That is a lot more than other people have, and in her mind, she knows it.
Her heart however? I'm afraid it's damaged forever.