Jacob checked several books out of the school library back in December. He read the books and returned them. The next time they had library, he was told he hadn't returned one. He said he thought he had, came home and searched for it, couldn't find it, and in the ways of a nine year old boy, forgot about it...until the next library day. This went on for a long time. He talked to me about it, in truth, I wasn't too worried, I figured it would show up. Well, it didn't and I finally opened my eyes and realized he was very upset about it and we needed to step things up and work it out. We searched and searched, but I was sure in my guy that Jacob was right and he had returned it. He said maybe it had been returned to the public library. Feasible. We checked into that, nope. So, I wrote an email to the librarian at school:
Mrs. XXXXXXXXXXXX,
Jacob has been very upset and looking for the book Tales of King Arthur. At this point we just can not seem to come up with it. He thought he returned it to school long ago. Could you please recheck the shelves and if it does not turn up let me know what we owe. I'll pay for it if it is not found.
I would appreciate it if Jacob could be allowed to check books out again. He's been dreading library and I did not realize it's because he's not allowed to check out books and that he's afraid of getting in trouble because of the book. Life's too short for that, this one's easily solved, unlike so many of life's problems.
Thanks for all your help.
I received this reply this morning, frankly, I'm mad. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and I don't like the tone in her email of blaming Jacob for something that in my opinion, is clearly not a 9 year old's fault. He returned the book. He told her he returned the book. No, he did not shout it from the rooftops and make a big stink about it because he respects authority. The authority figure kept insisting he was wrong. He was in trouble. He was upset. I'm glad the book is found, but this isn't the first, second or even third time that a book my kids have returned has not been checked in correctly at the library. It's also a pattern that she blames the kids instead of accepting responsibility for the mix-up. My question is, what would you do? Let it go or address it? If I address it, how? With her or higher up? I'm really, really tired of this.
Stacey,
I have checked the shelf this morning and it was there. Jacob had continued to tell me that it was at home and he was looking for it. I generally go to the shelf with the child if they think they've returned it. I'm sorry we had not done this with Jacob. Jacob needs to communicate that he thinks it's here in the future. He will be in the library on Thursday I believe and will be able to check out books. Thank you for getting with me and assisting in this matter.
XXXXX XXXXXXXXX
So Internets, What Would You Do?
So Internets, What Would You Do?
7 comments:
This happens ALL THE TIME, no matter where you live. My older son got a notice a couple of weeks ago telling him that if he didn't turn in a textbook, he won't graduate. Problem: the textbook is one he NEVER used. He had to go straighten it out in the office.
I think what I would do in your case is ask the librarian to talk to Jacob about how she needs for him to tell her that he thought he returned the book, to save time in the whole matter. Tell her that you are reinforcing this idea at home, but it's important for school staff and faculty to make it clear to the students that they are there to help, and sharing ALL of the details of whatever is going on is preferable. I would also (nicely) tell her that Jacob was scared to tell her because she was very accusatory when speaking to him, but I would be very calm and nice about it.
I'm with Melisa! Much better than I would have done. But I would also talk to Jacob about standing up for himself. We had the exact same thing happen to us at the public library where we are...we get out tons of picture books every time we go and one time, they told us we had a book that was 3 weeks overdue. Of course, it had been reshelved with the others without being checked back in but fortunately no one else had gotten it out in the meantime and it was reshelved correctly so we could track it down...but it is hard when you are 9 and a grownup is sure it's your fault, even if you're sure it's not. What a shame it dragged out so long. Poor little guy!
First I would be proud of Jacob that he continued to respect the librarian as an authority figure despite the fact that she was obviously WRONG. Good job on your part as a parent. I would also reassure him that he could discuss ANYTHING with you and that you would help him without being angry. And, the former teacher says, if it happens again, contact her immediately (copying the principal if necessary) and ask for the shelves to be checked. It is unfortunate but so many adults of our generation were never taught take responsibility for their actions. In my opinion, this has gone beyond a simple teacher-parent-student communication issue. She is negatively impacting a child!
I am sorry this happened to your children, but on the other hand I am glad it doesn't only happen to mine!!
I haven't got any advice for you because when that happens here I feel like yelling at the librarian to 'do her job properly' but instead I end up being pleasant and nodding sympathetically when she tells me how hard it is too keep track of all these books.
Oh . . . the library books . . .
Last year, the library kept insisting that Hannah had not turned in a book. And she hadn't. Hannah said she meant to put it in the bin in her classroom (where all the books are collected and returned together)but that it disappeared from her desk. The teacher insisted she checked the classroom and that it was not there. Our librarian said I could either pay the fine or wait until the end of the year. "Books have a way of showing up," she said. We waited, and, sure enough, it was in the classroom behind a bookshelf (don't know how it got there).
In Jacob's case, I would let the librarian's comment go (with a severe eye roll). But I agree with your commenter who said to teach Jacob it's okay to stand up for himself if he believes someone is wrong. I have to remind Hannah ALL the time to speak up, because she's one of those kids who'll take the blame and let people walk all over her.
The librarian could have just said, "It was a misunderstanding. We found the book. So sorry!" She didn't need to imply that it was all Jacob's fault. That part stinks.
Man that's rough; I'm not sure what I would do. I know I would be frustrated and exasperated, but I'm usually one to not cause confrontations either. But it seems like she could have at least checked the shelf to be sure it wasn't there when he kept showing up without it!
Knowing me, I'd march straight into the Librarian's office and have a discussion... but that's just because I get so put off by school administration never taking the high road and accepting responsibility for anything, rather passing the buck and placing blame on anyone else that can.
Bless you for your sweet note, and shame on that Librarian for her poopy reply. I'd say let it go too... but then I'd be saying something I didn't necessarily believe. I'd be irritated... very irritated.
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