Tonight we went to a special event at our pool. Julianna was excited to see two little girls from her scout troop there. Jacob had brought a friend and she was thrilled when she saw her friends there too. She went up to them and asked if she could play. One little girl said something, Julianna went away, the two girls got out and went to another pool.
I asked Julianna why she didn't go with them. "So-and-so said I couldn't play."
No, she didn't, I told her. I was sure that couldn't be possible and furthermore I also would have sworn I heard the little girl say yes.
Julianna brightened up immediately and ran after them to play with them.
One of the little girls turned around and very nastily made it perfectly clear that she was.not.welcome. to play with them.
Julianna was beyond devastated. She sobbed and sobbed.
I was absolutely incredulous. I don't really know why. Once I sat back and thought about it I realized I've seen this little girl do similar things in the past. I've seen her be intentionally cruel to other girls, she's even done the exact same thing to Julianna before, I've just never witnessed it so directly before. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed something was missing, that she hadn't been that cruel.
Never again.
She has absolutely no problem hurting other people's feelings. It really doesn't phase her.
It's beyond hard as a mommy to see our kids hurting, and I certainly hate it as much as anyone; but I will take every time having my seven year old daughter hurt and feeling devastated to having my daughter being the one who has no problem hurting others.
I have 1 husband and 4 kids, 28, 20, 11 and 9...I'll be doing the mom thing forever, hence 4evermom.
5 comments:
You did much better than I would have. I have to really work hard at not intervening when my Mother-Bear reaction is triggered. What a little snot!
Kids can be so cruel! That is ridiculous. Its so hard to know when to step in and when to let them deal with things themselves! :(
Oh kids ARE cruel ... and I have NO patience for it anymore! I'm now "that mom" who goes over and talks to rude kids. I tell them point blank how rude they are and how it hurts other kids feelings. So far, it's all worked out. But we went through the same thing at a 4th of July party that sent me over the edge! It's no fun when you see your child in pain ...
Oh that just breaks my heart for Julianna and what she went through :( I don't understand why kids have to be so mean like that. You're right though in that you'd rather have her be the one hurting (unfortunately) then the one doing the hurting.
Okay - I'm really late to the party on this one, but I had to add my two cents (which is about all it's worth, in reality).
I have taken to stepping in and saying something in these situations. Luckily, my son has not experienced this yet, but there are plenty of places I see it happening anyway.
Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I feel like as an adult, I need to let these types of kids know that this is NOT okay and that they will be called on it. I feel like the reason a lot of kids get away with this behavior is because no one says anything to them. If they're not getting it from their parents, well then, I guess it takes a village. (I can't believe I just used that reference!)
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