Praying

Overwhelmed.

This morning, I'm praying for

• Time. Time to heal hurts, wisdom to know how to move on, put past behind me and start new. I know that's what I want to do, I've made my peace with that, the reality of it is very difficult though. It's a two steps forward one step back kind of thing, or maybe one step forward two steps back.
  
• OS--he's struggling so much right now and there's nothing I can do to help besides pray and listen, which I'm always willing to do.
• work--still looking. I need 1 full-time child or a combination of part-time to truly get to the point where bill are *almost* payable.
• Rebekah--she leaves in 8 days. 8 days.
• Jacob & Julianna started school today. I worry about them making/keeping good friendships. Friendships that are good for them, good for their friend. I worry about whether or not their teachers will have the time/energy to meet their needs when there are so many others in the classroom that are so far below where they need to be. I worry about school being a good experience for them, that excites them and keeps them enthusiastic about learning and reading, verses boredom and drudgery and busy work.
  
• Me. I no longer have any time for working out, which isn't all bad because I no longer have much desire to take care of myself either. When something happens that shakes everything, shakes your confidence, your belief in yourself, focusing on improving yourself/taking time for yourself, just doesn't happen.

That's where I'm at. A reality check, if you will. Hope life's good for you. Don't worry, I'm not usually this down, this is just the struggle right now, and I'm hoping that identifying it will help me deal with it. I'm working my way back to blogging, I love the outlet, the friendships, the connections, but right now I can't write about my biggest struggles, and there really isn't much else getting my focus yet. One of these days...