So, I was supposed to start a new job today. A job that was really going to help stabilize our family financial situation. The new family was a no-show. *sigh*
Home daycare is a really, really hard way to make a living. When it's right, it's wonderful. I am very blessed to work for two families right now where things are very, very right. I'm truly thankful for that. Although...one of the families' mom is pregnant. So...this spring, at least until next fall most likely, I will lose that income. *sigh* One step forward, two steps back. There is good news there too though, next school year I will have two wonderful ones from that family to watch.
I realized yesterday that I'm angry. Angry about so many things, one of which is our financial situation. I can not believe how much things have changed, and I'm afraid I'm not adjusting very well. Yes, I'm queen of the understatement. I'll keep trying. Hopefully a big part of adjusting is being able to acknowledge what's wrong. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday how very much it's bothering me that everything has changed for us. Hopefully now I'll be able to figure out how to make myself feel better.
I'm very aware, truly, that we're much better off than most people in this world. I know that.
I also know we have much to be thankful for. I'm going to do my best, if only for today, to stop fretting. To stop looking down the road and literally making myself sick with worry about how everything's going to work out. Just for today, I'm going to do my best to sit back and enjoy the little one's I am lucky enough to share my day with, to enjoy my own kiddos when they come in the door at the end of their schooldays, and to enjoy being with my parents tonight. I have many blessings in my life, four healthy, wonderful, loving, responsible children are certainly tops on the list, and I'm going to do my best today to live in the present and enjoy that.
I have 1 husband and 4 kids, 28, 20, 11 and 9...I'll be doing the mom thing forever, hence 4evermom.
9 comments:
Keep counting those blessings. I know it's hard, and I know your family is struggling, but it's important to focus on what's going right as much as possible.
I'm trying to send good vibes for you and hope you get another day care family very, very soon!
It is so difficult to look at the positives when you have such worries. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great job trying to stay positive.
Sending prayers and hugs your way!
Sorry the new family didn't show up. (That's pretty inconsiderate. I'd be cranky about that.) Hope you find something soon to cover that loss. If you lived here in Canberra you'd have too much work. Long Daycare centres cost up to $90 per day and Family Daycare is a preferred alternative because of the smaller numbers of children involved and the more reasonable fees.
Aw Stac..this is terrible news! You are so right...childcare is difficult! It's unreliable, hard work, and often unappreciated! :( Hang in there...it has to turn around soon!
It's hard to be grateful when so much around you is going south, isn't it?
I don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing the feelings you have and giving yourself permission to feel them. You don't need to hold it together all the time. Acknowledging that things are difficult right now does not make you ungrateful for what you do have.
Hang in there, Stacey. :)
You are such a strong lady, I love your outlook. It's okay to be frustrated though, it is hard when things change. I'll have everything crossed that another perfect family comes through.
I do hope things improve for your family! Money stress is THE WORST! Literally I keep myself up for DAYS about bills!!! Taxes and tuition kills us!
Hang in there! Saying a prayer for you!
Seriously? Ugh. Sending you nothing but good vibes for future families!
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