Last Night's Dinner

Last night's dinner was a complete homerun. It was the exceedingly rare, perfect combination of sophisticated, delicious cuisine that still offers something to the younger, pickier eaters. Plus, it was vegetarian! I'll file it away in my pea-brain for when I'm searching for something to make when J&L come to dinner.

We had Tomato and Basil Pasta from the new issue of Martha Stewart Living. [The picture to the left is from the MS website. We were too busy eating to take a picture.] I was looking for something light and different and this certainly fit the bill. Pasta, olive oil, garlic, torn basil leaves, ripe juicy plum tomatoes and burrata cheese. That's it. Simple and amazing. I also sauteed some broccolini, which was delicious enough that Jacob asked for seconds and was disappointed there wasn't more, and Mark voiced several times that I should have bought four times as much as I did, it was that good. [Sidebar: for me, broccolini is never that good. :)] I accompanied the whole thing with Giada's grilled bread, grill slices of bread brushed with olive oil until toasty, rub a cut half of garlic over followed by half a tomato and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Yum!

The pasta had burrata cheese in it, a cheese I had never had before. It made this dish, in my opinion, though I'm sure I will serve it in the future with regular fresh mozzarella. Burrata's just too expensive and hard to find to use it everytime. I also splurged and bought an imported pasta, something I've never had before. Now, I'm sorry I did because it was amazing! Not in our budget for everyday, but for a special occasion, I would definitely splurge again. Mark thought baby spinach would be a nice addition.

When you discover something so easy and delicious you want to share with your friends, so friends, check it out. Honestly, I expected the grown ups in our house to eat it, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and the kidlets to be not-so-thrilled. What a wonderful surprise to have all five of us thoroughly enjoy it, though each in our own way--which means Julianna picked the pasta out, Jacob ate the pasta, Mark inhaled it but left half the tomatoes, Rebekah loved everything about it but the cheese, and I thought it was absolutely perfect with a drizzle of balsamic reduction. If you try it, let me know what you think.

I'm linking up with Rachel’s Mouthwatering Monday at A Southern Fairytale. The S-mores pudding pie she's got on there today looks amazing!

First Day of School, 2010 style

Yesterday was the first day of school for J&J. Let's hear how it went in their own words...

Jacob--It was good. The day seemed really long. We had to sit at our desks all day. We spent an hour organizing our desks. (Those are negatives, btw.) Hopefully today's a bit better.

Julianna--It was good, except, the teacher kept calling me Rebekah. (The teacher, who is awesome, and I'm sure will master her name soon, had Rebekah 12 years ago.) Then, she started calling me "Miss Rittenberg". It makes everyone stop and stare at me. (This was accompanied by tears, which I'm sure were much more about first day exhaustion than what she was or was not called.)

Here's hoping day two goes well. :)

[Look at that! A nice, safe, benign blog topic. Thanks for all those who have checked in. I'm much better than yesterday. I'll get there.]

Praying

Overwhelmed.

This morning, I'm praying for

• Time. Time to heal hurts, wisdom to know how to move on, put past behind me and start new. I know that's what I want to do, I've made my peace with that, the reality of it is very difficult though. It's a two steps forward one step back kind of thing, or maybe one step forward two steps back.
  
• OS--he's struggling so much right now and there's nothing I can do to help besides pray and listen, which I'm always willing to do.
• work--still looking. I need 1 full-time child or a combination of part-time to truly get to the point where bill are *almost* payable.
• Rebekah--she leaves in 8 days. 8 days.
• Jacob & Julianna started school today. I worry about them making/keeping good friendships. Friendships that are good for them, good for their friend. I worry about whether or not their teachers will have the time/energy to meet their needs when there are so many others in the classroom that are so far below where they need to be. I worry about school being a good experience for them, that excites them and keeps them enthusiastic about learning and reading, verses boredom and drudgery and busy work.
  
• Me. I no longer have any time for working out, which isn't all bad because I no longer have much desire to take care of myself either. When something happens that shakes everything, shakes your confidence, your belief in yourself, focusing on improving yourself/taking time for yourself, just doesn't happen.

That's where I'm at. A reality check, if you will. Hope life's good for you. Don't worry, I'm not usually this down, this is just the struggle right now, and I'm hoping that identifying it will help me deal with it. I'm working my way back to blogging, I love the outlet, the friendships, the connections, but right now I can't write about my biggest struggles, and there really isn't much else getting my focus yet. One of these days...

A Giveaway, and some news...

Update: Courtney's the winner! Thanks for all of your well wishes. Things are getting better. It's funny how you think things are never going to be okay, but then, slowly, they get there. Hopefully I'll be back soon. We'll see.


My Blog Spark and Yoplait have graciously gifted me with a wonderful giveaway for my readers. Yoplait recently introduced Yoplait Splitz, a new yogurt that tastes like a sundae. Yum! It's 100% real yogurt, so it's a good source of calcium and vitamin D. I also like that it has no artificial flavors or sweeteners and no high fructose corn syrup, yet is just 90 calories. Back to school's always a good time for me to tighten my resolutions and watching what I feed my family is definitely up there. I'm excited to fit this product into Jacob and Julianna's snack rotation. I especially think they're going to like putting them in the freezer for a frozen yogurt experience.

You can win a coupon* for a free container of Yoplait Splitz, plus an insulated picnic tote and a rollup fleece picnic blanket. I can truly vouch for what a fun pricepack this is to win because My Blog Spark and Yoplait have also gifted me with one.

To enter, all you have to do is tell me which flavor you're excited to try, Rainbow Sherbet, Strawberry Banana Split or Strawberry Sundae. That's it! I'll be picking a winner Tuesday, August 17, so enter by Monday, August 16. As long as it's Monday where you live, it's all good. I believe this offer is only open to my US readers, sorry. :(


*This coupon offer for a free pack of Yoplait Splitz is not valid in some states, including California, Idaho, Louisiana, Minnesota, New Jersey, Nevada, North Dakota and Tennessee.

Not Always What They Seem...

Isn't it odd...we never know anyone who's deeply in debt, who's cheating on/being cheated on, who'd contemplating divorce, who's abusing drugs, who's an alcoholic, who abuses their child, who is abused...?

Statistics tell us it's all around us, but we never see it. Sad in a way. We all sit here thinking/worrying we're so different than everyone else, when really, maybe we're not so different after all.

Happiness

In light of the last post which was a real downer, sorry. It just helps sometimes to get things out, put my fears out there instead of internalizing them all. In reality, it's too upsetting to IRL people, so there won't be any more posts like that. (or I'll be changing my URL and starting over anonymously, still under consideration.)

There are many, many wonderful things going on in my life, and I wanted to stop a minute and highlight some...in no particular order.

1. Jacob and Julianna each had friends over yesterday for the entire day. They are both truly blessed to have such wonderful friendships in their lives. There was no bickering, sometimes the four played together, sometimes separately, during the brief times in the morning and afternoon when there were 3 of them they all played beautifully. No small feat that. Additionally, this day could have happened with a different combination of friends. Wonderful indeed.
2. My mom and dad. I'm so glad, for myself and for my kids, that my parents are in good health and don't live too far away. It was fun being with my parents this weekend and watching all four of my kids interact with them. They're really good grandparents, they love my kids very much, and again, we're all very blessed.
3. Jason, Lori, Matt & Lily living close by. They're coming for dinner tonight. When Jason heard our a/c was out again he immediately offered to have us come over to their cool apartment. He's very loving, a great person, and I love having all of them so close. Jason's started a blog, it's a political blog, very liberal, if you're interested, check it out.
   
4. Jason and Rebekah. It gives me great pleasure to see that they are close and that they genuinely enjoy each other's company. There's some things we have not done right in our lives, but we've managed to raise (knock on wood, so far), a very close family and it's one of my greatest accomplishments.
5. Rebekah going off to school. Okay, this one's definitely bittersweet because I'm going to miss her like crazy, but she's so ready. It's very exciting to see the world that's opening up for her. Right now everything before her is so full of promise and I'm very, very happy for her.
6. The people I work for. They're awesome, their child is awesome. It's a wonderful situation and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.
7. School supply shopping. Yes, I still think the lists are ridiculously long (Jacob's includes 60 pencils this year!), but it is what it is, I have made the decision that I will not be a parent who ignores the teacher's wishes and puts my kids in that position, so I'm going to embrace it and enjoy the madness. I love school supplies. Always have.
8. According to the doctor it's probably short-term, but Jacob's allergies/asthma/whatever, is not too much of a factor right now. Rag weed season is right around the corner, the doctor thinks he'll be a mess by mid-August again, so I'm enjoying the lull we have right now.
9. Summertime. We still have two weeks of summer vacation and I intend to enjoy every minute of it. I absolutely love having my kids home.
   
10. Mark. We met almost 29 years ago. I love waking up beside him. I love having him to share things with. I love sharing our lives together.

There's more, but I hate to brag. ;-) What's making you happy today? Thank you for all the support from my bloggy friends. I truly do appreciate it. You all make me feel so much less alone in this world.

Tracy, over at Just Another Review Blog is giving away a family 4 pack of tickets to Ceder Point. Now that would make me happy!

Uncle

We came home from a lovely weekend visiting with my parents and celebrating my dad's 75th birthday, to a hot house. Yup, our A/C is broken. Now, it was broken two weeks ago and we spent several hundred dollars. Now, it's just not in the budget. I have someone coming out tomorrow, just on the off chance that it's something affordable, but honestly, it's not looking good.

Mark lost a third of his income July 1. Now for some people that might not be a big deal, for us? Devastating. Truly. We did not have any to spare, let alone a third.

Then, we got the lovely news that I have lost one of the kids I watch. Now, come hell or high water, I can't seem to find another child to watch. August 16 college bills are mailed. We owe over a thousand dollars in medical bills. Julianna needs braces, truly needs. Her bite is awful, a detriment to her health. Christmas is right around the corner...

A new air conditioner is just not on the horizon. People do it right? You don't need air conditioning. I know this, but I also know it's hard when your hubby's grumpy because it's hot, your kids are whining and crying and can't sleep because it's hot, and there's no end in sight to the endless string of bad financial luck.

Know there's no help to be had, sometimes it just helps to vent a little. Prayers would be greatly appreciated that somehow we're able to keep treading. Eventually, it has to get better, it's just a matter of trying to hang on until then.

Update...well, I sucked it up, called the a/c people and had them come out. Since it had been just 2 weeks since the last time they came, they agreed to waive the service fee. We now have a/c again, hopefully for a long time to come. I know a/c is not a necessity, but it was pretty hard watching Mark working so hard last night and feeling like he couldn't provide for his family. A/C doesn't solve all of that, but it helps make things seem more normal.

Still would appreciate prayers, we're keeping the balls going around and around in the air, but honestly it's getting harder all the time. If I could just find another child to watch it would make a huge difference. I have an ad coming out in the local paper this week, hopefully I'll get a lead off that.

Ouch!

We just got the bill for Jacob's "accident" last month. I'll save you following the link, because if you blink you'll miss it. He fell backward off the swing, hit his head hard, and needed three stitches. Three. Not a biggy. We weren't even at the ER an hour.

$1100 is our portion of the bill. Have I ever told you I hate our health insurance? Seriously. With a passion. $1100 for three itty bitty stitches!!! Keep in mind we have employer sponsored health insurance that we pay almost $500 a month for, all of which gives us less than $1000 worth of benefits throughout the year. It's soooooo tempting to just cancel the damn thing and go it alone. But we won't. Pinky swear. Because useless as a $6000 per person deductible is, the alternative just really isn't acceptable.

Next time I'm sewing him up myself.

Orientation

Rebekah and I are at Ohio University getting oriented. Last time Mark attended orientation with Jason and I stayed home with the just-turned-two year old and was 6 months pregnant.

It's interesting to me how much OU has changed in 8 years. Last time everything was "don't ask, we won't tell". Don't ask them how your child is doing, they won't tell you anyway. Now, it's "family involvement is key". Guess which one I'm more comfortable with? I like knowing if my child is in trouble, they'll make sure I know.

I also love the idea the university encouraging parent involvement, to a point. I want to be very supportive of Rebekah and her academic career. I want to be there for her and support her emotionally however we can, but this is hers now. We'll always be here for her, we definitely will do all we can to help her succeed, but it's hers to do with whatever she will. Still, I think their goal of family involvement has something to do with Ohio U being number 3 in the nation of meeting predicted graduation rate goals.

I must say, I was somewhat reluctant to come to orientation, even more reluctant as Julianna sobbed and sobbed in bed last night (it's an overnight program and she's not used to me being gone, like, ever.) It's been a really good program though. I've learned some things about what to expect, and I've enjoyed that attitude of all the University staff I've met/listened to.

Rebekah was one of about a dozen students accepted into the Connavino Honors Program in the college of education. It's a fantastic opportunity, but also an incredible amount of work. I hope that she can keep up with the program requirements, the college requirements and still have a fulfilling university life.

Speaking of which...have you heard? Ohio University is the number 2 party school in the nation. As you can imagine, the staff at OU is less than thrilled with the distinction. I think the whole thing is really annoying, and I think it does a real disservice to the students who go to college for the right reasons and work their tails off. I'll also say, if the faculty sticks to what we're being told, I pity the idiots who are caught for underage drinking anytime soon. As I said, the faculty is definitely not amused with the distinction. They're much prouder, justifiably, of being named to the best colleges in the Midwest list.

Well, I've got a little more time to kill before dinner, then another session on Expectations and Opportunities, followed by some fun in the student Union. It will be interesting sleeping in a dorm tonight. Tomorrow a few more sessions then home in the early afternoon.

It's all a little bittersweet honestly. I'm thrilled for Rebekah. Feeling more panicked by the minute practically about my inability to find another family to sit for; feeling the urgency as I think about how much all of this costs. I'm also acutely feeling how very close it's getting to when she leaves, when our relationship begins to shift, permanently, and how very unready for that I feel. Most of all, I'm trying to concentrate on how proud I am of her and what exciting opportunities are ahead for her.

Checking In...

It was a really, really good week. Unfortunately, really, really good weeks do not always translate into really, really good weight losses, but I'm all right with that...I think. Anyway, I do not want to this into a weekly weigh-in, although you can be sure I'm weighing myself all the time; however, I am down 1 pound this week. All-in-all, I'll take it. Sure, I'd love for it to be more, but being down 9 lbs. in two weeks, is awesome and I truly believe in making changes I can live with, which is going to result in slow weight loss. I know that, but I will confess it's sometimes hard to be okay with that. :)

This week's highlights:

• I went to the Ohio State Fair and stayed pretty in-control.
• I've been dealing with a lot of really tough emotions, yet I've held it together.
• I kept my food journal all 7 days.
• I worked out 5 times and started a strength-training program
• I can feel my body getting stronger--stairs are already easier
  

Things to work on:

• Twice this week I have honest-to-goodness forgotten all about the changes I'm making. Not good. Once, I remembered before I ate, and dealt with it fairly well, the other time I remembered after I ate. I still filled out my food journal, and I think I accounted accurately for what I ate, but I was disappointed in myself and I know if it had been more in the forefront of my mind I would have made better choices.
• I have orientation this week. It's a 2-day affair, that's most likely going to mean 2 days I can't work out. Also, the end of the week some things are going on which will make it impossible for me to get to the gym. It's going to be a real challenge to get in 4 workouts.
  
• I will not be cooking at home for four days this week. That's a huge challenge right there.

Well, that's my progress report. I'm most proud of the fact that I'm exercising and truly working it into my routines. My biggest goal for the week will be to maintain that as well as keep tracking in my food journal.