Yes, I know I already posted New Year's wishes, but this is different. :)
I don't think I have ever started a new year feeling more ambivalent. Maybe it's because I have been sicker in the past week than I have been in years and it's truly hard to care about anything except please make me feel normal again, NOW! Maybe it's because last year, in a lot of ways, kicked my tush and honestly I'm just happy to see it over. Sure, lots of good things happened, Jason & Lori moving to town definitely top my list. I absolutely LOVE having them 2 1/2 minutes from our house. [Sidebar: Jason got a job!!!! A real, with benefits and salary, work for us on and on, grown up job!!! Definitely an awesome development.] Another great thing that happened in 2010 was our incredible daughter graduating with honors from high school and being able to attend college. There were certainly good things about 2010, but, the not-so-good things that happened were big, and scary, and very not-so-good and I am not sad to see it go.
So, bring on 2011. Aside from being happy to turn the calendar (okay, that's a lie, I have to figure out where I even put the new calendar and get it hanging on the wall before my very type-A daughter comes home from school today and hyperventilates because the old one is still hanging on the wall.), I feel a big dose of meh. No New Year's resolutions this year, no burning desire to reinvent myself, my family, my situation. No lofty goals, unfortunately no real dreams either. I think, for 2011, I want to just be. I want to be myself. I want to be with my family. I want to not worry about yesterday, nor obsess about tomorrow, just be. (I'd still really, really like to get over this horrible flu NOW please.)
What about you? Are you a resolution maker? Do you have lofty dreams/goals/ambitions for the new year? Honestly, I'm a little worried that my ambivalence is almost a form of giving up. That last year kicked my tush so much and in so many ways that I'm a little beaten down and dreamed out. I hope not. That's not who I want to be or how I want to live. I don't really think that's it though, I think I'm just ready for some calm, some status quo, some time to embrace the normal in every day.
Whatever your dreams, I hope all of you have a very blessed 2011.
I have 1 husband and 4 kids, 28, 20, 11 and 9...I'll be doing the mom thing forever, hence 4evermom.
8 comments:
I love your goal! So often I find myself wishing away the days. Living in the moment is a great goal. Afterall, worrying is not going to change the past or the future for most things. Yay to a brand new start! I hope you and your family have a blessed, happy, HEALTHY 2011!
Abby
Happy New Year again to you and yours Stacey. My goal/non-resolution sounds a lot like yours. I just want to be me. The best me i can be. If figure if i give my best in everything i do then i cant feel like i have let myself down. Only i know what my best is.
SO thrilled about the job--yay!
Some years, you have to make resolutions to be kind to yourself. Best one we ever made was to try one new restaurant a month (way before kids, when we had two jobs and lots of time...it was beautiful then...)! But something similar might be in line here...one new playground/kid activity a month...that kind of thing. Some years, you can't make "beat yourself up" resolutions and have to make "treat myself gently" resolutions. Sounds like one of those for you. Here's hoping for less drama in 2011--and good luck with the calendar!
Oh please. Don't worry about your ambivilance. You have been sick for a long time and just don't have any energy for optomism just yet. You'll get there. :)
So glad your son has a job! That is exciting beyond! Now my brother just needs to find one. He has been out of work for FAR too long (he had a job or two here and there but nothing long lasting) and living with my mother (he is 45, by the way) for the past 5 years. Egad!
I am hoping 2011 brings you peace and contentment and health and prosperity!!!!!!! You deserve it! :)
Happy New Year to you! I will be making a few short term resolutions and will see how that goes. Hope it's a great year for you!
I don't think that wishing for calmness is silly or weird or ANYTHING like that. I hope you get it this year: you certainly deserve it! :)
I hope you feel better.
My goal is to take better care of myself. That's all. :)
I think after having a tough year one is allowed to wish for calm and to just be. Hoping that things turn around for you this year and that it will be a wonderfully refreshing year for you.
Happy New Year!
I do not make resolutions any more- I never keep them! I'm with you - just live!
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