Ugh. I had one of those moments yesterday when I would have given a lot to have been able to turn back the clock and yank my foot out of my mouth.
We were at dance and talking with one of Julianna's friend's mother. The mom mentioned they were going to be having a sleep over in a couple of weeks and would like Julianna to join them.
Sounds great.
Oh! Oops! That's the night of the Girl Scout Father-Daughter dance, I don't know that she'll be able to make it.
Then, I realized how insensitive I'd been. What an a**.
The mom was really nice, we talked about how maybe Julianna could come late, basically the conversation drifted off as it does when you've said something really dumb and all you want to do is get out of it.
What did I say that was so bad?
This little girl's daddy died last May. Unexpectedly.
It's all so very sad and I am so upset that I reminded them, in any way, again, of their loss.
What I wouldn't give to turn back the clock 2 minutes or so to plug in my brain.
*sigh*
I have 1 husband and 4 kids, 28, 20, 11 and 9...I'll be doing the mom thing forever, hence 4evermom.
5 comments:
Oh how sad! I'm sure it did sting her a bit, but it was not meant to be hurtful. I'm sure she understands, and unfortunately it won't be the last time it happens. I hate these moments though. At the baby shower we had the other week my cousin asked the host if he was expecting agian. Her daughter just turned 1 and there is no other baby in the works yet. Sometimes do-overs should just be allowed! :/
I know everyone takes things differently but when i was 15 after my mom died i use to get so aggravated because people would try to avoid talking about certian things in front of me. I know in my heart it was to try and keep me from feeling bad or hurt or to remind me that my Mom wasnt there, but in the end sometimes it was just more annoying.
The point of what i am sayign i guess it that although it probably did hurt just a tad, she probably didnt find it as hurtful or embarassign as you did.
Oh Stacey! I wouldn't beat yourself up about that AT ALL!!! You absolutely did not say anything intentionally rude or wrong ... life unfortunately goes on after all these horrific events ...
I'm sure your friend didn't even catch any malice in your words, and probably feels just as uncomfortable as you when people try to skirt around issues like this. You may have felt awful, but there really was no way around what you were saying.
Hugs!
Oh my gosh, I'm sure she knew you didn't mean anything by it. Even if it took her aback for a moment, I'm sure she's happy that your daughter gets to go to the dance with her daddy. Don't be so hard on yourself!
I don't think you did anything wrong. Honestly. I think it would have been harder for them if you were evasive with your reason she couldn't attend and then they found out later. Then they know that everyone feels they need to edit what is said around them. Know what I mean?
It may have made them sad, but when something horrible like that happens I think a lot of everyday things can make a person sad. I think most of all people just want to be treated normally so that they can try and feel normal again as soon as possible. Maybe she even appreciated that you didn't edit your comment, you know?
Still, I know how it is to beat yourself up over stuff. I do it to myself all the time. ;)
Post a Comment