I'm back, sort of. Still trying to figure out how I want my life to look, what things I want to change, what things are worth investing time in. The funeral was wonderful, everything a funeral should be. (Can a funeral be wonderful? No idea, they're so horrifyingly wrong too.) I still can't believe Dave's gone, and my friend is making a lot of very big changes in her life. I think she's on the right track, it's not that, it's just a lot of major change all at once.
Washington was great, I think I'm all blocked up about writing about it because there were a lot of complicating things about it--I wasn't really "in the mood" for the first day and a half or so. A major miscommunication resulted in us not really having the money I thought we did and we really should not have gone at all. A flare up of sun poisoning nearly derailed the trip...but even with all those factors, we had a fabulous time and I'm thankful for all the memories we made. Maybe even extra thankful in light of the "life's short" lessons we've been absorbing lately..
Lately I'm doing a lot of thinking about life. Today, I'm focusing on five of my favorite things--little things, not the big obvious ones like my wonderful family and good health. Actually, very little things, today I'm writing about five things that make me a bad mom, that actually make me a good mom.
Chocolate milk. It's the only milk my daughter will drink and I'm letting go of the guilt and choosing to be thankful that she enjoys it and is getting the bone-strengthening benefits of milk. (I'm also absurdly excited that our favorite milk, Snowville, is rolling out a chocolate milk. Yay!!!)
Video games. Okay, the bad mom confession, this one should really be titled, "too much video games". Not my thing, not at all, but my 10 year old (and 26 year old, and hubby), looovvveee them and how can I not embrace something that brings my guys so much joy?
Freedom to quit..somtimes. Yesterday Jacob came home from school and I asked him how his day was...expecting a pretty typical exchange. Instead, he told me it was "terrible". Why? Because it was dance day. Something snapped. Looong story short, he's not dancing anymore. He does not enjoy it. Why are we doing it then? There are reasons, but I decided that none of them were really worth seeing my 10 year old unhappy, over-scheduled and over-stressed. Life is short, remember?
Fluffernutters. Yes, letting go of the guilt over this one too. My child loves a good fluffernutter (peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwiches for those who are blissfully ignorant), and even though it's full of sugar, I'm choosing the glass-half-full attitude of it's full of protein too to get him through the afternoon. I may not pack them every day, but again, seeing how happy such a basically worthless combination makes him, makes me happy.
Saying yes. I say yes to questionable things, and I think it's part of what my kids will remember fondly someday. Of course you can not wear your glasses to school so the Minnie ears you're wearing for hat day are more comfortable. The hat you've planned all week on making, the pink hat you're so excited about because your teacher's daughter is battling cancer and you want to do something extra-special to be supportive? The hat that turned out all wrong because we really didn't have the right things to make it and though you tried to suck-it-up and use what we had, it turned out all wrong? 
Yes, we'll go to the store and get new supplies and start over. Yes, I'll buy Pop-Tarts for a weekend treat. Yup, you can stay up late reading tonight, even though it means you could be a cranky mess tomorrow. Saying yes sometimes, even when maybe I "shouldn't", is definitely one of my favorite things.
What about you? What's your favorite way to be a "bad" good mom?
Yes, we'll go to the store and get new supplies and start over. Yes, I'll buy Pop-Tarts for a weekend treat. Yup, you can stay up late reading tonight, even though it means you could be a cranky mess tomorrow. Saying yes sometimes, even when maybe I "shouldn't", is definitely one of my favorite things.
8 comments:
Those are some good yesses. I'm so glad you went to DC after all. And I love that you redid that hat. And I try to remind myself when I'm tired of saying NO that the no's are what make the yesses sweet. Welcome back. Have a nice weekend.
Hmmm... and here I am lamenting that I said yes too often when my girls were in high school. Maybe I'm not such a bad mom after all?
Anyway enjoyed your post - only one problem ... I'm now craving chocolate milk!
Your yes's are good ones. Sometimes as a parent you have to say NO so much you wonder if you even know how to say yes. I remember conciously making myself THINK before responding so I did not just say no out of habit. The yes's came out far more often after that.
Good for you to let your son quit dance!
The last funeral I attended was also wonderful. When you see someone suffer, and know when they pass they are better off than we are. I believe we miss them, but we're happy their not suffering anymore.
Great post, really makes one think.
I'm just getting back after a little break. That sandwich sounds wonderful!
You'll have to tell us more about your DC trip: where you went and how the kids liked it.
So sorry about your friend's husband; I just can't imagine.
It's so easy -- and often automatic -- to say no; we need to say yes sometimes! I like the freedom to say no to overcommitment and overscheduled kids.
Have a great week ahead!
I only ever heard of fluffernutters on one of the Barbie movies - Mariposa I think, or maybe Fairytopia.
I guess that's one of my worst mummy moments, at least in some people's opinion. I hear all the time that Barbie is bad for little girls but my girls have a huge collection of Barbies, Barbie movies and accessories.
Hope your friend is coping okay.
Glad you had a good trip to Washington.
Now that my kids are mostly grown I wish I would have said "yes" a heck of a lot more often than I did.
We had chocolate milk very often when we were growing up and we survived.
Good for you for recognizing how unhappy dance was making your son and allowing him to quit. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and take a look at the benefits or lack thereof.
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