Anonymous. Remember the days? Back when no one even really knew for sure what a blog was, let alone that you might have one. When you watched your statistics and hoped for more and more readers. Then...
Then, you realized people you knew read your blog. Your friends, your family, maybe even your employer...
Slowly, that's silencing me.
Do I write about a difficulty with work? Not a good idea.
Do I write about what it's like to watch my parents getting older? How painful it is? How much it scares me? How much I'm not ready to lose them?
Do I write about Mark's work situation? I know, I have in the past, probably too much. It no longer seems wise, if indeed it ever was.
Do I write about how Rebekah just left, and I miss her already and I'm grieving that I know our days of having her here are numbered and I don't know how to handle that?
Do I write about something between Mark and I?
My writing can no longer be about me or for me and I don't really know how to deal with that. There are lots of things I'm struggling with, I just don't feel comfortable sharing them here anymore. Unfortunately, some of the most supportive friendships I have in my life are with my online friends, so that leaves me in a difficult, dark, silent spot. I'm guessing by the lack of updating on a lot of your blogs a lot of you are going through a similar situation.
So...I'm here. I'm mostly all right. Dealing with things that are difficult to talk about, especially where they can be read by others involved. I'm not sure what the answer is. I just wanted to take a minute to say what's going on...
I have 1 husband and 4 kids, 28, 20, 11 and 9...I'll be doing the mom thing forever, hence 4evermom.
6 comments:
I get this. Exactly. And sometimes, I just feel like I don't have that place anymore.
I am sending a prayer your way. You can always email, if that helps.
It's really like Blogging 3.0 isn't it? First there were the pioneers. Then Blogger/WordPress became 2.0/2.1 etc.
That's why my blog mostly became about food. There's some personal stuff, but not much.
It is hard. Hang in there. Not in a guilting-you way, but I have missed your posts and have been grateful for your comments so I know you are out there and ok. (not that I was worried per se, but you know what I mean--when you are only in touch on line, you never know if silence means "a vacation I didn't want to announce to the online world" or "a tragedy I didn't want to announce to the online world") Anyway. Wishing you a wonderful 2012!
I totally get this. There's so much I'd like to write to get feedback and ideas but I just can't. Saying a prayer for you.
Hang in there girl. Thinking about you!!
Yep. I get this too. It really stinks that certain people read my blog (especially when I wasn't the one who told them about it). I still try and write what is on my mind, but I certainly have to temper it in some cases.
I hope you can find a balance that give you an outlet and peace of mind as well!
I have these same struggles. I want to say you should write about what's in your heart. But I know it's more complicated than that.
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