Just Thursday--March 31

Outside my window..there's snow on the ground!  Unfortunately.  Still, it's nice this time of year to know that it can't last long.  Spring will come.

Today I feel..Exhausted.  Completely.  Sad.  Maybe a bit lacking in hope.  It's temporary, but it's so hard to see up close and personal how harsh life can be.

I miss..my friends.  There are three of us who meet every few months mid-way between our houses (an hour or so away) for a several hours long breakfast.  Unfortunately, we (me) have let life get in the way and it's gotten postponed and delayed over and over until it's been way too long since we've done it.  My friend Nancie, who lost her husband, was one of the friends, and I really, really miss seeing her.  I wish I was with her so I could give her a big hug and maybe do something that might help.  I also know though that right now is not the time for that.  Right now she's organizing and getting ready, and handling a million things; and all of that helps her get through the days ahead.  We will make the time to get together after though.  I will make sure of that.

I am thankful..yeah, this one's pretty obvious, isn't it?  I'm definitely thankful for Mark, for my family, for the love and support they've shown me.

Tomorrow I am..starting spring break.  It could not have come at a better time this year.  I'm going to unplug, literally, step away from the computer, step away from routine.  I'm going to try to be very in-tune to myself and my family and make a real effort to be in the moment in my life.

I am wearing..jeans, 3/4 length tee.  It's definitely my work uniform, so to speak.
I am hearing..Mark coughing.  It's really bad, with no signs of improvement.  It's worrying me.

I wish..Another obvious one.  I wish wishes could come true and that Dave was still with us.

My schedule this week[end] includes..being with/embracing my family, visitation/funeral, grocery shopping, laundry, errands.  Missing my birthday girl.  Rebekah turns 19 Saturday.  19!

I need to start..making conscious choices.  I'm in a place where I'm drifting along and it's getting me down.  Part of the consequence of that is not eating right/not exercising.  I want to change that.  Part of that is too much zoning out on the computer.  I want to work on living my life intentionally.

I am reading..nothing.  My brain is too fried.  I'll pick something light and meaningless soon.  Right now Jen Lancaster is too mean and everything else feels too hard.

I am working on..keeping the wheels turning, going through the motions, doing the things that still need to be done.  I'm also working on trying to reschedule our trip.  Jacob and Julianna were awesome at Christmastime when we had to cancel our mini-vacation because Mark and I had the flu, I hate to do that again.  It's looking like we're going to go eventually, now I just need to find my enthusiasm for it.

Yesterday I..drifted.  I worked on rescheduling our trip.  I went through the motions, did lots of laundry, was sad.  Yesterday I thought about how I was blessed to see that even though my kiddos were disappointed when they thought we were not going to be able to go on our trip, they were brave and compassionate, and they didn't just focus on what they had lost.  Yesterday I was blessed to have my hubby take care of me, support me, show he was really there for me.  Yesterday I felt so helpless to help someone I care about.  Yesterday I was sad to be so very, very far away from my friend.

I am hoping..Mark gets healthy soon.  His lungs are not in good shape.  The doctor described them as "really bad smoker's lungs"; no, he doesn't smoke.   I'm hoping he gets healthy soon.

I bet you didn't know..Today's Mr. Feeny's birthday!

Life

So, our trip to D.C. is off.  Or postponed.  Indefinitely.

A good friend of mine's husband died yesterday.  I really don't have words.  He was young, certainly too young to die.  He was good.  He will be missed.  Hugely missed.

If you pray, pray for Nancie, his wife, my friend.

Pray for Tommy, Sarah, Andy and Abby.  His four children who are way too young to be without a father.

Hug your loved ones a little tighter, tell them how much they mean to you, forgive them when they disappoint you.

Life is indeed short, and it's capable of changing in the blink of an eye.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are…
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow.
One day I shall dig my nails into the earth,
or bury my face in my pillow,
or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky
and want, more than all the world, your return.

- Mary Jean Iron

VERY Important Dilemma (Not Really) WWYD

Warning:  Completely superficial and vain post ahead.

My hair.  Oy!  It's making me crazy again.  Years ago, I had a stylist I loved.  Loved.  She's a terrific person and I usually like my hair when she does it about as well as I ever like my hair.

My hair is above the shoulder and curly.  Not curly-curly and beautiful like Rebekah's, just curly enough to give it some texture and a mind of it's own.  It's a horrifyingly high percentage gray, which really gives me the heaby-jeebies, and I hate that.  Keeping the gray at bay is a constant struggle.  I will not have gray hair.

Okay, back to the stylist.  I do not love the place where she works.  So, a few years ago *somehting* happened and I had enough of their attitude and switched.  I refer to that time period in my life as the lost years.  I traveled from salon to salon and never managed to find anyone that I loved my hair with.  I always looked back fondly on the stylist I had seen for so much of my life.  However, aside from hating where she worked, I also knew her schedule was severely limited, and it would be difficult to work around.  After enough bad colors, bad haircuts and generally bad moods about my hair, I had had enough and swallowed my pride and went back to her, having grown a little and learned enough about myself to know that having my hair look nice is really at the top of my list and all those other concerns were quite secondary.

So I've been back about a year now.  The salon is better.  The bad taste that is there prevents it from ever being my favorite place in the world, but it's to the point where I can tolerate it and it's definitely worth it to be back with my stylist.  So, what's the problem?  Well...

...a couple of things.  One, I got a very generous, very large gift certificate for Christmas to a previous salon, and my budget is saying that it may not be the smartest move to blow it on a pedicure, manicure and facial like I planned and that it would be much smarter to spend it on a cut/color instead.  But, it's taken over a year of haircuts to get to where we are now, and almost as long in coloring.  Is it really worth it to go to a different stylist for a one-time cut/color.  (If your hair is the kind that looks great no matter who does it and it really doesn't matter and what am I even talking about, then congratulations.  Trust me when I say that is not the case with mine.  Also, I hate you?  J/K.  Not really)  Okay, back to my reality...I got my haircut two weeks ago and in truth, it's just not working this time.  I don't like the way it looks.  Normally, not a big deal, at my next cut I'd explain that to my stylist and we'd go from there, but there is a little teeny voice whispering that maybe it's not such a bad time to try a different stylist with the gift certificate and see what she can do.  Also, although a week or 10 days after I get my hair colored I love my color, the first week is rocky.  It looks very unnatural, to me, and that drives me crazy.  Again, not a big deal, I can work with my stylist about that, or just wait it out and love it most of the time, but again the voice whispers that maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal to have someone else color it once.

But...but to go back to the gift certificate salon, do I go back to the previous stylist that I left because I really didn't like the way my hair was looking?  (Yes, I do see a pattern here, and yes, it does trouble me.)  Do I see a different stylist, and if so, how do I have any idea if they're any better?  Plus, the whole thing just screams AWKWARD, doesn't it?  

All right.  I've taken up precious minutes of your life that you will never get again.  (Sorry.)  

What do you think?

Do I

1. Go back to the previous salon for a one-time cut/color with my previous stylist there and ignore the awkwardness with the stylist.
2. Go back to the previous salon for a one-time cut/color with the owner and ignore the awkwardness (and secretly hope that I love it so much I'll have a new dilemma about whether or not to keep going there?)
3. Use the ultra-generous gift certificate for frivolous fun (think waxing, pedicure, manicure, facial) and keep going to the stylist I've spent a year rebuilding a relationship with?
4. I don't care!!!  Why are you bugging me with this petty problem?  Don't you know there are real problems in the world?
5. Here's your perfect solution dummy.  Why didn't you think of it?  (Fill in blank here) ________________________________________________________________.

Go for it internet friends...let me know, WWYD? 

Edited, the two salons cost about the same.  My current one's probably a tad more expensive.

Ramblings...

My thoughts are all jumbled around and it's hard for me to make heads or tales out of them.  So, I'll share with you, aren't you lucky?  These are in no particular order of importance because they bounce around on the list almost constantly.

• I'm still trying to figure out how to go to the White House and then have a purse.  I can't seem to work that puzzle out.
• I may be worrying for nothing.  Mark's not doing well.  His cough is getting worse, if that's even possible.  He has a doctor's appt. tomorrow.  I'm really praying that they'll be able to do something to help him, yet honestly, I doubt it.  I think if there is someone out there that can help him it's not going to be a family practioner.  Maybe an allergist/lung specialist?  Don't know.  
• Lily's sick.  That makes my heart ache.  I pray she's better soon and that no one else gets it.  No fun to have tummy viruses, that's for sure.
• Rebekah's back at school and I'm happy for her, but I miss her.  :/
• This weekend, there was an article in The Columbus Dispatch that talked about population growth in our area.  This sentence rings in my head, and bothers me so much. "Franklin County's population grew 8.8 percent over the past decade, but all that growth can be attributed to racial minorities.  But.  Really?  Am I being overly sensitive, or does that somehow indicated that minority growth is a negative?  I try so hard to teach my kids that people are people.  I wish for my children to grow up in a world where, "they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character".  Reading articles like this plant the little seeds, it seems to me, that color of our skin still matters.  Sad.
• My little girl informed me today that she's so! excited! because she finally has reading group again.  It seems she hasn't had it since November, because the "other kids that aren't good readers needed to read every day".  She's eight.  Yes, she's a good reader, but she still needs reading instruction in her life too.  A couple of years ago when our district eliminated gifted education in the language arts area we were assured that it would be all right, the classroom teacher would just make it up.  That is complete and utter bull#@!*.  There's no way a teacher should be expected to do that, nor have I met one yet who could.  These kids are losing out and it makes me really, really frustrated and angry.  An eight year old going 4 months without reading. (Yes, she reads every day at home, and she was independently reading at school, but without instruction, discussion.)  I'm truly not upset with the teacher, I'm frustrated by our system right now, a combination of our district (lack-of) leadership for teaching anything above the middle, and no-child-gets-ahead which seems to leave teachers with little choice.  Those kids must pass the tests and the kids that are in no danger of failing, get little instruction.  :(
• I'm having a very hard time dealing with my child's lack of faith in God.  It's very hard for me that my grandchildren are not baptized, are not learning about God.  I wonder where I've failed and what I need to do differently with Jacob and Julianna.  It's truly difficult and I'm really struggling.  We went to church, we went to Sunday school.  We prayed as a family.  Sometimes I feel like why bother doing any of it with J&J, they're just going to grow up to abandon God too, is it just me or does it seem as though our whole culture is turning their back on God today?  I've struggled with doubt too, I'm not trying to be holier-than-thou, honest.  But to see my grandkids grow up outside of a church, no baptism, no true meaning of Christmas, Easter? No relationship with God?  How confusing is that going to be for J&J as soon as they figure it out?  Very, very hard.

All right.  That's it.  There's more, of course, there's lots floating around in there, but I'll leave it at that.  Thanks for listening.

HELP! White House Question...

Okay, so we got tickets to the White House (Yay!!!!) BUT, no cameras, handbags, purses or backpacks. We'd rather not go back to the hotel during the day, or take the car into the city, so...do we really spend a day in DC w/no purse (I normally carry meds, tissues, lotion, etc., besides credit cards, ID, etc.) and no camera? Anyone have a good solution?

 There are no lockers available and no nearby parking.  You are urged to take public transportation.  If you arrive with prohibited items you will have to either pitch it or be denied entrance.  :/

Any ideas or experience?

Just Thursday--March 24

Outside my window..it's cold (28!) and overcast with a slight dusting of snow.  *sigh*

Today I feel..frustrated, unappreciated, taken-for-granted.  Not how your childcare provider should feel.  Isn't it funny how when I have issues with my job, 99% of the time it's not with the kids.

I miss..the days when I didn't work.

I am thankful..for my family, for our health, for my life

Tomorrow I am..working, laundry-ing, normal-ing.  :)

I am wearing..jeans and a white t-shirt.  Someone obviously didn't check the weather before getting dressed, oops!

I wish..teachers didn't assign projects that kids cannot possibly do on their own.

My schedule this week[end] includes..spending time with Jason, Lori, Matt & Lily.  It seems like it's been forever since I'm seen Matt, Lily and Lori, and I haven't gotten to spend much time with Jason in a while either.  I'm really looking forward to that.  We also take Rebekah back to school Sunday...honestly I'm not looking forward to that so much.  It's been wonderful having her home, but I'm so proud of the fantastic job she's doing at school and I know that's where she belongs right now.  Still, a Mama can look forward to summer can't she?

I need to start..everything.  I've gotten appallingly little accomplished this week.  I need to do laundry--it's endless, isn't it?  Straightening.  Planning.  Organizing...you name it, I probably need to do it.

I am reading..Actually, I'm between books at the minute.  I finished the Lauraine Snelling series and am deciding what's up next.  I might read Jen Lancaster, different Lauraine Snelling, Like Water for Elephants, or Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.  So blessed to have so many choices!

I am working on..letting go, forgiveness.  It's hard to forgive when there isn't acknowledgment of the wrong...or maybe there's not even a "wrong", just a potato-potahto situation that I don't like the outcome of.

Yesterday I..spent way too much time on Ancestry.com.  Lately it's absorbing every spare minute.  It's funny, Mark and I always sort of had the impression our families stopped at our grandparents or great grandparents.  Not really, but that was as far back as we had ever heard about.  Now, I've traced back hundreds and hundreds of years in some lines.  On my mom's side they've been in this country since the 16 and 1700's.  Crazy! 

I am hoping..to learn to change habits Mark and I have acquired that probably are not good.  He does paper work darn near every night while I put the kids to bed.  He works long after that, until 9 or 9:30 every night.  By that time, I'm done for the day.  I've watched an hour or so of TV, puttered on the computer, and am ready to go to bed and read and go to sleep.  He relaxes with some computer time.  None of that is bad, but what it means is that we've evolved into spending very little time together, alone, and that's not really good. We're great on dates, it's that day-in day-out time alone together we don't make time for. How to change something that you really are comfortable with, yet feel like it's not a good pattern for our long-term relationship?

I bet you didn't know..I'm thinking of a major (and professional) blog redesign.  Just thinking (and dreaming) at this point, but maybe one of these days...

Happy (almost) Friday, and thank you again for your support this week.

Thank you

We got very good news for my hubby today.  He had skin cancer on the top of his head.  I tell you this not to invade his privacy, but to let you know that it can happen and to be very, very careful.  Mark wears sunscreen on his head--some of the time.  Not as often as he should, definitely.  Not as often as he will in the future either, trust me.  He'll be at an increased risk to develop skin cancer for the rest of his life.

The type of cancer he had is not as dangerous as melanoma and not as innocuous as basil cell.  We were lucky, they caught it early and got it all.

Thank you for your prayers.  It was wonderful to feel supported and not alone.

Now, I wait to hopefully soon hear good news about my dad as well.

Wear your sunscreen.  Nag your hubby to wear his.  Slather the kids.  It really is important.

Prayers

I understand that not everyone has a belief in God.   I trust however that you would not be offended by me asking for prayers.  Mark's having a surgical procedure tomorrow.  It should be minor, it should be no big deal.  It should all be just fine.

However, being a wife who loves her hubby, and having been alive long enough to know that things don't always work out like they *should*, I've been praying a lot that things go well, that this takes care of everything, that he is healed.

My dad has recently had a bit of a health issue.  Hopefully it's minor, hopefully it's no big deal, hopefully it will all be just fine.

**Insert second paragraph here, substituting daughter who loves her father.**

So, in the spirit of Matthew 18 verse 20, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.", and hoping that it will relate to people being virtually together as well, I'm asking those of you who do pray to take a moment today and pray for my hubby and my dad that all goes well for both of them.


Thank you.  It really means a lot to me.

March 20 Meal Plan

Rebekah's home, which is very nice.  We're having fun, (I'm pretty sure she is too).  Life's flying by.

Here's what's on the menu this week, much of it Rebekah's requests.


Monday (dance):  pasta w/broccoli
Tuesday (dance):  Chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese
Wednesday:  Orange chicken lo mein
Thursday (dance):  Italian sausage hoagies, yellow squash & zucchini
Friday:  tacos w/green sauce, refried beans
Saturday lunch:  waffles w/fruit
Saturday dinner:  asian wings, fried rice, grilled baby bok choy, sugar snap peas

Sunday lunch: out
Sunday dinner: ??

Hope you have a great week.  Happy Spring!

Check out Organizing Junkie's for more Meal Plans

Just Thursday--March 17

Outside my window...the sun's coming up and it looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day!  It's supposed to be 65!!!

Today I feel...torn, not sure if we should go to DC or not.  Where's that crystal ball when I need it?

I am thinking...of everything I need to do today...laundry, cleaning, cooking, watching little ones

I am thankful...for Mark and the relationship we share.  It's truly a blessing to share my life with him.

Tomorrow I am going...to wake up and do it all again, God willing

I am wearing..."work" clothes, jeans, a lime green sweater, and my slippers

I wish...my headache would go away.  I had it most of the day yesterday and it's back again today

My schedule this week includes...having Rebekah home!!!

I am reading...More Than a Dream by Lauraine Snelling.  This is the last book I have to read in this series, I've read 15 books by this author about the same people, I'm sad to see it come to an end.

I am working on...I'll assume you mean aside from procrastinating? Doing a good job taking care of little people, trying to do laundry, straighten, perhaps actually clean a little.

Yesterday I...bared my soul

I am hoping...I can accomplish a lot today.  It's going to be warm and gorgeous, the warmest day yet this year.  Jacob's bringing a friend home from school, Rebekah's coming home for spring break, it's going to be a challenge to get everything done that we all need to do.   

I bet you didn't know...I am very tempted to take down yesterday's post.  It's still hard for me to have that out there in the public domain.  Many, many years later, and even with the success I believe we have made of our lives and our family, there's still a lot of judgment there, from me as well as others.  I would never want anyone to think I'm advocating or endorsing teen pregnancy.  I was just trying to say it's not always a train wreck, plenty of teens can be good parents, good partners; we're not all colored with the same brush.

Teen Mom

This post has been percolating around in my head for a while.  Honestly, it scares me to write it.  Will I be able to communicate what I really want to say?  Will you be receptive to it?  Will you hear me, or will your personal bias (whatever that may be) make that impossible?  Is it relevant?  Do I rough draft and edit, edit, edit; or do I write it once and push publish?  I know, but I admit I don't quite understand, that this will anger some people.  It's not socially acceptable to say some of the things I'm going to say.  I guess my answer to that is that this is my truth.  It's not the truth of everyone, no truth is.  Just like every other statistic, there are real people behind statistics, with stories of their own.  I'm not claiming my experience is like any others', that's not what this is about.  I will say though, that there are a lot more happily ever afters that most people realize.  You probably know several people, at least casually, that started on their road to parenthood much younger than you realize.  The thing is, when they look like every other family that you know, you just have no idea.

Yeah, you might say I've been thinking about this one.


Mike, from The Spohrs are Multiplying, finally gave me the push I needed to just write something.  To try and say what's in my heart.  Recently he wrote about teen pregnancy, and honestly, it made me sad.  Comments like, It’s heartbreaking to watch things turn out so poorly for these kids, but really, what other outcome could there be? (Seriously…has anyone ever known anyone get pregnant that young and have things work out?), have followed me my whole adult life.  

Yes, I do know someone who got pregnant young (17), and had things work out.  Me.  I got pregnant at 17, my freshman year of college.  Mark was 19.  We chose to get married, we chose to become parents.  We were, and are, very, very happy.

Yes, we had a lot of financial help from our families, something we were both extremely grateful for and I know it made our first few years a lot easier, but I also know we would have been all right either way.  I like to think things did not turn out poorly for our child.  I guess he's the best judge of that, but what I know is that we raised a loving, self-confident, successful adult.  He has a loving relationship with us, with his siblings, with his wife, with his children, with his grandparents.  He went to college, both undergrad and grad school and did exceedingly well.  We never had complaints about his behavior in school, he got excellent grades, he participated in extra-curriculars, he's successfully employed, what else could there be?  I think we did all right by him.


This is the part where I'm supposed to say it was hard.  I wish we hadn't started out that way.  I missed out on so much.  I regret the way things happened.  (I'm sure I'll get to it, but I want to clarify, loudly, I don't regret one thing about having our son.  Not one.)


It was hard.  The thing is, it wasn't hard.  (Boy, does it make some people angry when you say that.)  I don't know why, but it wasn't.  My brother died when I was 15.  My parents were, understandably, lost in their grief.  We had a lot of other really hard things going on in our family.  I think all of it contributed to me growing up fast.  I was much older at 17 than most 17 year olds.  Maybe that was one reason it wasn't hard.  (I know, I can see some of you shaking your heads, thinking I'm either not being honest with myself, or with you, but it wasn't hard, truly.)  Mark and I took to parenting very, very easily.  We were blessed with good instincts, I'd say we had an easy baby, but honestly I think we had a lot to do with that.  Maybe we were too young to know any better, but whatever the reason, we enjoyed every minute of our new life together.  


For the record, it wasn't not hard (sorry for the awkwardness), because we were palming him off on other people.  Jason's first sleepover was the night Rebekah was born, when he was almost 8 years old.  We very rarely utilized a babysitter.  My parents, again in part because of their grief, would have easily completely taken him over, we were not willing to allow that to happen.  We were his parents, and we were happy to be there 24/7.


I wish it hadn't started out that way. or I regret the way things happened.  I'll admit, this one's complicated.  The thing is, if it hadn't started out that way, what else would have changed?  I have no regrets for the same reason.  You can't look back and pick and choose what's the same, what's different.  There are times I've wished it hadn't taken me 8 years in between each of our children to have another, but what would that have changed?  Would we not have had 4?  Who knows?  I look back at my life and I truly have no regrets.  I love our 4 children and the relationships we have with each of them and that they have with each other.  I have no idea how changing one thing would have changed another.  There was a time in our life we were told we would never have more than one child.  Above all, I am just significantly thankful for everything we have.  No one ever has to become a mother at any point in their lives.  Yes, we might get pregnant, but there are choices.  I chose to become a mother four times in my life.  I'm extremely thankful four times I was given that chance, that choice; and I'm very thankful that I said yes to the choice four times. 


I missed out on so much. I don't think so.  What did I miss out on?  College?  Yes, but not because of Jason.  Plenty of people have babies and go to school.  I could have, I chose not to.  Going out and club hopping?  No thank you.  I had a taste of that, younger than I should have, but it still let me know it wasn't for me.  I had an up-close, front seat to what drugs and alcohol do to people, and had no desire to do the party scene.  A career?  Hard for some people to understand, let alone swallow, but I had a career, the only one I ever really wanted, being a mom, making a home.  A long time ago, our Pastor preached a sermon about finding what our purpose in life was.  I was so filled with peace sitting there listening.  I knew, in my heart, and still do, that my purpose in life was to be a mother and create a home.  It gives me profound joy and I think I'm at least usually good at it.  I'm proud of the people we're raising and I think they will be a positive contribution to our world.  For me, it's the most fulfilling, wonderful thing I could be doing with my life.  I see so many mothers around me struggling with their identity, some even resenting at times their children, or at least their role as a mother.  I have never struggled with those feelings.  I know, and am blessed to know, that my role in life was to make a home and fill it with love.  I'm better at that some days than others, like anyone else, but on the whole, I think I do a fairly good job.  I'm blessed not to wonder about the roads not taken, the other side of the fence.


I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that the truth is teen pregnancy is not always a harbinger of doom and gloom.  There are success stories, plenty of them.  Would I want a child of mine to become a teen parent?  Of course not, but I have the wisdom and the experience to know that if they did, they could certainly have their own happily ever after story.  Success in parenting, as in any other facet of life,is dependent on a variety  of factors.  Wouldn't it be nice if there was a nice, tidy, checklist you could go down that would assure you success and happiness?  As you know, it doesn't exist.  


Why I am I bothering to say any of this?  I guess I'm tired of the pre-conceived, negative connotations people have about becoming a parent at a young age.  Shows like Teen Mom, Pregnant at whatever, etc., do not help.  Let's face it, my life would make a pretty boring reality show.  If your child ever comes to you and tells you they're pregnant, or they're going to be a father, take a deep breath, and pause.  Know that it's not automatically a catastrophe.  There are happily ever after stories.  I know.  I was lucky enough to be part of one.


Oh, one more thing, if your child does ever come to you with this news?  Seriously,  Pause.  Think.  Whatever you say, however you handle it, will be with both of you the rest of your lives. 

MPM March 14

Ack!  I can't believe it's Monday and once again I do not have a meal plan done.  "No biggie," I like to tell myself, but truthfully I should acknowledge that that is not quite true.  It is a biggie, if only because not having a plan makes me incredibly inept at putting a meal, let alone a nutritious meal, on the table.  Must get back in the meal planning groove.

Monday--Mondays are always tricky when it comes to dinner.  We don't eat dinner together as a family, which I hate.  I think a family dinner time is extremely important to maintaining closeness, but, alas, this year it can't be helped.  Julianna has dance Monday nights from 5:30-6:30, meaning we leave here shortly after 5 and are back just before 7.  I haven't figured out a way yet to fit a family dinner in there.  Next year, I'm very afraid her dance schedule will be even more brutal to our togetherness time.  What's the answer to that?  Do I not allow her to dance because of it?  I seriously think about it, but since dance is her one true love, I'll probably go along and just be sad about it.

Anyway, Mark and Jacob will be having leftovers, with Butterscotch Pie for Pi Day.

Tuesday (piano, dance, haircut):  Ack!  Another night w/o a family dinner.  Funny, I won't let this one bother me as much, missing one every 5 weeks or so to keep the oh-so-ugly grays away seems worth it.  Priorities people.

Dinner will be:  Chicken noodle soup, crusty sourdough rolls, Ooey-gooey melty mint brownies

Wednesday:  Shrimp Scampi

Thursday (St. Patrick's Day):  Corned Beef and Cabbage (new recipe from Steamy Kitchen, sounds good), boiled fingerlings, carrots; cabot cheddar soda bread

Friday:  Sausage & Pepper Subs, oven fries

Rebekah will be home at the end of the week.  It will be really nice to have her here.  Next week hopefully I'll be cooking lots of her favorites.

I do not even want to think about how long it took me to do this meal plan!  Hours.  Is it like that for you?  I have the hardest time coming up with meal plan ideas lately.  *sigh*

Oh well, check out other meal plans at Organizing Junkie's.  Have a great week!

DC Advice Please

The Washington DC trip is back on the table.  We're still not ready to commit 100%, it depends on how some things shake out over the next couple of weeks, not the least of which is gas prices, but we're making plans, in case we do go.

I found a great rate at a fairly new hotel.  Honestly, it's nowhere near my first, second or third choices as far as where we'd like to stay, but it sounds nice, the pictures look good, it has a pool (should be a plus for J&J), and at under $125 a night, including tax, during Cherry Blossom Festival time, I think it's probably the best we're going to do.  Our rate is, at this point, fully cancellable, please let me know if there's another hotel we should think about.  Conversely, if this location isn't as bad as I'm thinking it is, let me know that too!

Now, the details.  Where to go, what to see, what to do, how to get there, where to eat...it's almost overwhelming enough that it's making me reluctant to even go.  I've got to shake that off.  I think part of it is the idea of vacationing without Rebekah.  That feels very, very odd and maybe a little bit wrong**, though I'm trying to shake that.  This is our new life, she has her life, and we're very much looking forward to vacationing together, with her, this summer.

**It also feels really wrong because we'll be gone over her birthday.  Now, a long time ago, I checked with her about this and she told me it would be fine, that she would make plans, etc., etc., but it still makes me feel a bit like a crappy mom because what if her plans fall through and my baby's all alone with nothing fun to do on her birthday???

Anywho...help!

What are your favorite sights to see in D.C.?  It's been five and a half years since we've been there, which means Julianna remembers nothing and Jacob remembers very little.  We're on the list to see if we can get White House tickets, hopefully we'll hear soon, it's getting down to the wire!  What sights are worth paying big bucks for?  What really aren't, keeping in mind the main audience we're aiming to please is 8 and 10 years old?

Is it worth it to spend $100 to do a trolley tour?

Where do you like to eat?  We're planning on taking breakfast with us from home.  I'd love to eat out one meal a day, supplemented with snacks both on the go and back at the hotel, but I'm also open to eating out 2x a day, especially on those days we're on the go at the crack of dawn.  (Speaking of those snacks, ideas??)  I'd love suggestions for both food courts that are nice with a good variety as well as nice or fun or just-plain-yummy restaurants.  We're also looking for a restaurant where we can get good blue crab for a fun night out.  We'd prefer to stay away from the over-priced "meh" food offerings, though I am thinking about The Hard Rock for the experience.  A bit of a contradiction, no?

Any tips on seeing Arlington National Cemetery with kids?  What about the National Cathedral?

Will we regret staying at our oh-so-affordable, (did I really just call $125 a night affordable???  I keep reminding myself that for D.C. it is.) but so far away hotel?  We are planning on taking advantage of a the Huntington metro park and ride that's less than 15 minutes away.

We're planning on being in D.C. 3 1/2 days, but we're considering adding 1/2 a day.  We're also thinking about seeing Mount Vernon or Monticello "on the way home", although neither one is anywhere near "on the way home"; especially Monticello as it adds 2 hours to the trip.

Here's what's on our list so far, please feel free to critique, advise, etc.
Zoo
Arlington Cemetery
FDR
WWII, Korean War, Vietnam Wall, Lincoln, Washington and Jefferson Memorials
National Cathedral
Capitol--probably just to look at, not necessarily a tour
White House--ditto, unless the tickets come through
American History Smithsonian
Natural History Smithsonian
Old Post Office Food Court
Union Station

Somehow, with all our trips to D.C., we've never even seen the carousel on The Mall.  I'm hoping to not only see it, but actually ride it, this time.  :)

Anyone ever do a DC by Foot walking tour with kids?

We're thinking about the Spy Museum, although the ticket prices are making me think twice.   Jacob would like to see The Pentagon, though I'm not sure if you can get a good feel for what that looks like from the ground, I don't even know how close you can get to it.

Speaking of things we can't afford, I'm a little thankful right now that the new American Girl store, located in Washington DC won't be opening until summer, 2011.  :p

As it is, I'm trying not to panic and order a bunch of spring clothes for the kids to wear there, not having any spring clothes that fit probably helps ensure that it will be unseasonably hot while we're there.  :)

Thank in advance for all your help.

Five Question Friday March 11

1. Do you know what your REAL hair color is?  

Is?  or Was?  Is, I try as hard as I can not to know.  *shudder*  Was, all I have to do is look at Julianna.  Her hair color is amazingly close to mine, at least what mine was when I was younger.  Sadly, I've had to color my hair since I was PTA President at 25 and went gray.  True story.  Probably unrelated though.  Probably.

2. Do you plan ahead for summer, or fly by the seat of your pants?

I'm a planner.  I'd like not to be, I'd love everyday to be unscripted, but my children are blessed with a multitude of wonderful programs and I feel like it's a delicate balancing act trying to make sure they get to take advantage of much of it while at the same time trying to make sure they get a much needed break and the chance to do nothing.

3. What is your favorite meal to cook?

Hmmm, I guess it's usually whatever I'm in the mood for.  Right now I find myself being drawn more and more to recipes for Spaghetti & Meatballs, so I'm guessing those are right around the corner.

4. Do you get offended by not receiving thank yous?

Depends on the situation.  (I'm definitely realizing I'm a shades of gray person.)  If I have sent a gift to someone, I get offended if I don't hear anything.  Give me a call, send me a note, whatever, but take the time to let me know you got it, and hopefully that you like it.  To never hear anything about a gift that I've sent, that offends me.

On the other hand, if I'm sitting there watching you open said gift and we talk then and there, I do not expect a thank you note.

5. How did you meet your best friend?

Husband best friend or other best friend?  I'll save the hubby story for another day, my other best friend I met at our old church.  She's a very outgoing, friendly person, which is a very good thing because I am a huge introvert.  

Just Thursday 3/10

Outside my window...it's dark, and rainy, and cold

Today I feel...conflicted, confused, searching

I am thinking...about God and church and where I and we belong

I am thankful...for my family, my husband

Tomorrow I am going to...celebrate!  It will be Friday!!!  (I love Fridays!!)  We'll be attending the spaghetti dinner and hopefully bidding on and winning an auction basket that Jacob and Julianna will both be happy with.

I am wearing...Jeans and my red button shirt

I wish...I could find a church that felt like home, be it the one we presently attend or the one we used to attend.

This weekend...I'm looking forward to enjoying my family with no commitments or obligations.

I am reading...The Reapers' Song by Laurraine Snelling.  I've read 2 series about the same family, this is the original series, and there's another one to be read after this.  (Was that as confusing as it seems?)  Honestly, if I had started with this series I'm not sure I would have continued, I think her writing improved greatly later.

I am working on...trying to not feel like I have to control everything, to sit back and listen and see if God's leading me in a different direction.


I'm also working on finding time in my life for exercise.  My life is very out of balance and I can't seem to find the answer to that.

Yesterday I...spent $25 to ship GS cookies to Rebekah.  Insane!

I am hoping...that Mark's cough goes away soon.  Unbelievably it seems like it's getting worse.  We can't decide if he should go back to the doctor or not, it's hard to believe he can help, yet it is getting worse, yet we already owe so many doctors so much, with more medical bills on the way.  I believe the only people who don't believe we have a health insurance problem in this country are people who either one, have money, or two, have good insurance.  I resent that every medical decision we have to make is a conflict between money and doing what we feel is right.  A $6000.00 per person deductible is very much like not having insurance at all.
I am struggling with...church.  I guess I'll leave it at that as I can feel a blog post coming about it.  Same things I've been struggling with for years now.  Where do we belong?  Will any church ever feel like home again?  I need to solve this.

I am hearing...TV, the 1 year old I watch jabbering, Jacob showering, the sounds of my mornings are soothing.

I bet you didn't know...(or care), I have no idea what I'm going to make for dinner.
Something I'm looking forward to...Rebekah being home.  I wish I could think of things that could help make that week special for her.  I also wish that everything else in our routine wasn't going on as usual that week.  I wish that I could stop time and just enjoy having her home.  Oh well, she'll be here and that's the most important thing.  :)

One of my favorite...school lunches is French Toast sticks with cheese stick.  Sounds awful to me, but it's the only day Jacob will buy, so it's the one day a month that I don't have to pack lunches.  I wish our school district would improve the quality of the food they offer our children.  A nearby district has made the move to local, freshly prepared food, not a bunch of frozen, processed crap.  It must be possible to do.  Aren't our kids worth it?

Hope you all have a good Thursday, happy (almost) Friday!

Sibling Love WW

 

My daughter-in-law took this picture this weekend while we were visiting my mom and dad.

I absolutely love it.

I will treasure it always.

There may be 18 years between them, but I think there's a lot of love too.

(Isn't my daughter-in-law an amazing photographer?)

Happy Wordless Wednesday

Monday, Monday

Whew!  Was it just me or did that weekend fly by?

We went to see my parents to belatedly celebrate my mom's birthday.  That was a lot of fun, and extra-special because Jason & Lori were able to come too. 

My mom is notoriously hard to buy for.  Not because she is hard to please, but more she doesn't need  anything, and she's not very good at giving hints as to what she would like.  This year was different.  Finally!  We were talking a few weeks ago and she started raving about a light she had seen in a magazine that she loved and how she had even tracked it down and found out it was from Pottery Barn.  I got online, saw we could afford it and asked her if she was sure she liked it.  She was.  She did!  I ordered it for her, and it was a great joy to actually be able to give my mom a present that she was truly excited by--not for the thought behind it, but because she genuinely loves it.

 I admit I think it's pretty cool too.  I can't wait to see it up at their house.  That could be a while though, my dad hates it and is really dragging his feet about putting it up.  I think it will look great in their house though once he acquiesces and actually puts it up.

Because no one should have to make their own birthday cake, I also made a cake and took it down to help us celebrate.  I made carrot cake, from Smitten Kitchen.  I thought the cake was really good and especially loved her cream cheese frosting sweetened with maple syrup.  I never would have thought to do it, but I truly loved the flavor it gave it and will be making it like that most of the time I need a cream cheese frosting.

Sunday was good too, though in a different way.  It was scout Sunday at our church and Jacob and Julianna were both excited and proud to wear their uniforms and serve as greeters.  Afterward we went out for a nice brunch, I was especially glad we had taken the time to do that because soon after we got home Mark was called out of town to a problem-child jobsite, two and a half hours away.  Off he went and the kids and I enjoyed a quiet, toned-down Sunday.  Much nicer than Mark got to enjoy, certainly.  Anyway, he solved the problem and was back by 9:00, just in time to turn in and start the whole work week cycle again.

Today, I made a terrific honey wheat sourdough bread.  So fun and rewarding to put so much time and effort into something and have it turn out well.  Yeah me!  I bought some sourdough starter recently from King Arthur Flour and have been experimenting with it.  I love King Arthur Flour, the company.  They have a terrific website, one that in my opinion a lot of companies could learn from.  Plus, they have both a telephone helpline and instant-chat for those times when you just need someone to answer a quick question or hold your hand.  It has proven extremely helpful to me the past couple of weeks, so much so that I am now committed to buying their flour oven the cheapy-generic that I used to buy.  People swear the flour's better, truly I'm not experienced enough to know about that yet, but I do know the customer service they offer is worth it to me to do my part to try and make sure they stay in business.


Our week ahead's looking pretty normal.  Friday night we have a spaghetti dinner with an auction at the kid's school.  It's a fundraiser, and I'm looking forward to it.  It's a nice, almost old-fashioned kind of community event that really makes you feel like you're contributing to something good, as well as being fun.


Hope whatever your week holds, it's good.


Here's what we'll be eating this week...or not, it's feeling like one of those weeks around here.  :)
Monday:  leftover Ina Garten's pot roast.  First time I've made this and I really, really liked it.  Terrific flavor development and it truly felt "special" even though I wasn't even home when it cooked away and did it's magic.  Easy recipe that doesn't need babysat and delicious to boot.  I'll definitely be making this again.  I also made roasted garlic mashed potatoes to go with it.  I loved those too, but there were some chunks of roasted garlic that texturally weren't terrific.  If I make them again I'll be pureeing the garlic first.  For tonight, I'm going to boil up some noodles to go with it and saute some Brussels Sprouts.

Tuesday:  Mardi Gras, piano, dance:  Baked Potato Soup for piano, maybe for us too, I'm torn between that and pancakes, which is somewhat traditional.  Either way, I think I'm going to attempt a King's Cake for dessert.

Wednesday (scout night):  Emeril's Garlicky Shrimp w/ pasta, broccolini, garlic bread

Thursday (dance):  Potato crusted Hake, parsley potatoes, sauteed green beans


Friday:  Spaghetti Dinner fundraiser


By the way, I did end up trying the Penne with Escarole last week, and we all enjoyed it.  I was a bit shocked, honestly.  Mark and I had never had escarole prepared like that before and I know the kids had never eaten it.  It made quite a bit, so I ended up serving it to my childcare kids as well and everyone ate it.  I guess that's the hallmark of a truly good recipe.  :)


Hope you all have a good week.  We're inching closer to spring around here and it feels good!

Just Thursday--March 3

Outside my window...It is dark, and cold (22!)

Today I feel...peaceful.

I am thinking...of all the things I need to do today--the "to-do" list is always endless.

I am thankful...for my job and what it's done for my family.  I really like the families I work with.

Tomorrow I am going to...only work 1/2 a day, with 2/3 of the kids I watch.  :), Jacob and Julianna have the day off, I'm very much looking forward to doing something fun just with them.

I'm also going to make a carrot cake for my mom's birthday.  I'm a little nervous about that, baking/cooking is definitely one of the ways I show love, and I really want this to turn out well.  Carrot cake is not something I usually make though, so I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying something new.  I think I'm going to use Smitten Kitchen's recipe.

I am wearing..jeans, 3/4 length brown tee, comfy slippers

I wish...I had my taxes done, my house straightened, laundry caught up and beds freshly changed.

This weekend...Julianna has her last audition class, we'll be belatedly celebrating my mom's birthday, I hope we can find some time for a walk together Sunday.

 

I am reading...Home to Blessing Series by Lauraine Snelling.  I love it.  It's historical fiction, set around the turn of the 20th century in North Dakota.  It's also written from a Christian perspective, which I thought would bother me.  Strange, even though I'm a Christian, that label often has a negative connotation for me.  Too many people label themselves Christian and then proceed to live a life that is anything but--the man at the oil change place for one.  I am full of sin, I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I acknowledge that, I don't hold myself up as better than others  because of my beliefs.  Maybe it has something to do with being married to someone who is not Christian, but it bothers me when I see sense of superiority some people believe being a Christian entitles them to.  Wow.  Didn't see that rant coming, sorry.  What I meant to say is that this book is written from a (positive, true) Christian perspective and it's challenging me to grow in my faith.  I like that.

I am working on...today I need to do our taxes, FAFSA, laundry, straighten and watch little people; plus figure out dinner, maybe this pot roast?  

I'm also working on letting go and leaving things in God's hands.  I currently work full-time for 3 families.  I emailed all of them and asked them to let me know their intentions for next year.  One family immediately emailed me back and said they'll be here; one family was silent for a while, then let me know they're not sure yet, they're struggling with the balance of liking the care I provide for their child against the reality of what I charge to do that; I haven't heard from the third family yet.  I'm trying to just leave it all to God.  I know at the beginning of the school year I never could have imagined the work scenario I have now, there were plenty of times I was desperately worried, yet it's all worked out beautifully, exactly as it should have, I guess, and I'm trying to learn from that and to just trust that things have a way of working out.

Yesterday I...had a lot of fun with the kids I watch, we cuddled up on the "love sofa" (that's what the 4 year old dubbed it, and it certainly fit), and sang songs and were silly.  Me, a four year old, a 20 month old, a 13 month old and a 5 month old.  It was one of those 'life is good' moments.

I also must have been craving comfort yesterday, I made tapioca, cookies for scouts, and true comfort food for dinner. 

I am hoping...Mark has a better day today.  Yesterday was one of those "black cloud" days for him.

I am hearing...birds outside, it may not feel like it yet, but spring is coming.

I bet you didn't know...hmm, I know there's plenty you don't know about me, but it's hard to think of what that might be!  Okay, today I'll go superficial.  I bet you didn't know that my one big extravagance is my hair.  After wandering like a nomad for the past several years, I've gone back to the person who did my hair for years and years.  She's the best fit for me and for my hair.  I splurge on having her color it, (I justify it by how much I'm working, it's my one night out and it's heavenly.)  I also buy salon hair products.  I feel guilty about it, but I've never found anything else that works as well with my hair.

Something I'm looking forward to...Rebekah being home for spring break!  I wish I didn't have to work every day of it, I'm still struggling with that, but it will be wonderful, for us, to have her here.  I hope it's good for her to.

One of my favorite...times of day is early in the morning, when Mark has left and the kids aren't up yet.  It's my time for reflection, putting myself in the right place for the day ahead.

That's it.  Hope you all have a good Thursday, happy (almost) Friday!

Small Minds WWYD Edition

I've mentioned before that I try to shop local whenever I can, although I swear sometimes it seems like there's a conspiracy against it.  Maybe I'm just reacting to guilt over shopping at Walmart, instead of exclusively at local, independent grocers (although if you're local, I do do a lot of shopping at Weiland's and highly recommend it), maybe it's because I feel guilty that I tend to buy books and toys at Barnes & Noble and Amazon instead of independents that are local, (although, I do manage to spend a fair amount at Cover to Cover, Larson's, and Learning Express).  Anyway, you get it, I like to shop local when it makes sense for our family.

Last week, I dropped J&J off at the library, first time I've ever done that!  They had a ball being old and independent.  :)  I dropped them off and headed to get an oil change.  The oil change place is very, very close to the library, so I knew I'd be accessible if they needed anything.  There was no wait, so I gave the attendant the keys and headed to the waiting area.  There are 2 bays at the oil change place and someone else was getting an oil change at the same time.  In the waiting area there were 3 middle eastern men waiting.  Their car got finished before mine, the attendant came in and cashed them out, they left, smiling good-bye to me as they left.  They were young men, while they waited they talked in a different language, and laughed, and were fine.  They weren't rude, they weren't behaving inappropriately, they were three men waiting, no biggie.  Well, when the attendant came back in to try and sell me an upgrade (I hate that!!  I never know if I really need it or not.), he stopped, sniffed dramatically, and told me he didn't like the way 'his lobby' smells now, it wasn't the same as it was before, inferring, quite rudely, that there was something foul about those men.  I acted as though I had no idea what he was talking about, didn't say anything, and kept waiting for my car.

Inside though, I was furious.  Furious with him for his small-mindedness and ignorance, and bigotry.  Furious with myself for not saying something, anything, that would let him know he had offended me.  That's what I tend to do, keep quiet and quietly fume.  I hate that! 


This man is not someone I care about.  He's a man I'm financially supporting with my business.  I love this oil change place.  They do a good job, they've always been polite, they're in my neighborhood, the waiting area is pleasant, they have a good price...you get the picture.  But, I don't feel as though I can go back there.  If I do, isn't that tacitly saying it was okay to be a bigoted ass?  If I don't go back though, and I don't let them know why, what good does that do?  Does it do any good to tell someone like that they offended you?  I don't feel comfortable telling him I really didn't like what he said, now go work on my car please.  This man is the manager there, so there's really no point in calling and complaining about him.  

What would you do?  What would you have done?  How do you handle bigotry and racism when you encounter it in your life?