{thinking} Oh my gosh I'm so grumpy I can hardly stand myself! Why oh why do I get in this mood? Well, that's easy to answer actually, I get in this mood when I'm stressing, but not at all ineffective way to deal with stress. The grumpier I am, the more it affects everyone around me, the grumpier I get. Round and round and round.
Why am I grumpy? Let me count the ways...
- I can not decide what to do about Cedar Point. Do we turn it into a getaway weekend? Spend money we can't really afford to spend? What's more in the never ending cycle anyway? What if the resort/water park is a dump, reviews are mixed. What if it's not fun? The kids will enjoy it, but what about Mark and I? Does that matter? What if the weather turns south, we're not going to want to drive 2 1/2 hours for rain or excessive cold. If we've paid for the resort we're sort of stuck. Sort of. We can get most of the money back up to 72 hours in advance. Most but not all. (I know! I want to smack me too! Just make a decision already!!)
- Is help worth it when it's not complete and you're blindsided by the things you thought were done but aren't? Lots of times Mark offers to do the dishes after dinner. Most of the time I help anyway because, it feels fair to me and it also helps all of us be done quicker. Once in a while I let him do it. Maybe because it's not in his routine, maybe because he doesn't live in my head, who knows why, but no matter how often I say something (and, let's face it, after a while you just sound like a b****), things are left undone. Inevitably I'll go to get things ready the next morning and discover the water bottles weren't refilled and put in the freezer, or dishes that are "clean" and drying aren't so clean after all, or an appliance was put away but with pieces left out so I need to get it back out and put it away again. None of these things are any big deal, I get that, but they do aggravate me. Sometimes it just seems easier to do it myself, so the next day there aren't any surprises and I know things are going to be like I want/need them to be. (Control issues?)
- So, so tired of things being difficult. I need to suck it up and get over it already. No one ever promised life would be easy, right? Our life is easy compared to most of the world, I need to do a better job of remembering that.
- There's more. Of course there is, when you're in this mood it just goes round and round. I'm going to try and stop it right now and hopefully get myself in a better place--for all our sakes.
{thankful} Thankful that I'm going to see my girl this weekend, and that we're going to have Matt and Lily overnight. It's been too long since we've spent time with them, I'm looking forward to their visit. Pasta and meatballs followed by cider and doughnuts in front of a good Halloween movie. I'm so thankful to have them living close to us.
{hoping} It's going to be a super-busy weekend. Date night, babysitter for Julianna, retreat for Jacob. Sax lesson. Grocery shopping. A boatload of returns to accomplish. Matthew and Lily spending the night. Visiting Rebekah. I'm hoping that it's also a wonderful weekend that leaves all of us feeling content and satisfied that we had a lot of fun.
{overwhelming} Halloween! Don't tell, but I hate it!!! I really stress about Halloween costumes. The older J&J get, the more excited they are about Halloween, but the harder it also gets to find reasonably priced costumes for them. Julianna wants to be Princess Catherine. She was excited to wear one of my old fancy dresses, until I told her she'd have to wear something under it or over it. Ugh. You would have thought I kicked a puppy right in front of her. Yes, I'm sorry, you will not be wearing spaghetti straps and nothing else on Halloween night (or any other time as you are nine years old!) Get over it!
I saw a cute costume idea on Pinterest and happened to mention it to Jacob in passing. Well, he loved it, I didn't realize it and didn't pin it. Now, he wants to be a chick magnet (sweats with barbies attached) and I can't quite figure out how to do it in a way that will look really cool.
Choosing candy is always tricky too. Peanut safe, braces safe treats that kids will actually want to receive and maybe even get excited over. Not easy.
Halloween is definitely overwhelming to me.
{dreaming} Hmm, I guess right now I'm dreaming of keeping the next few months in perspective. Dreaming of living each moment and not stressing, worrying, ruining. I want to take time to enjoy each day, let go of the ways it's not what I'd like it to be, and enjoy the heck out of everything that it is. For example, Ohio University is now on the semester schedule, that has unanticipated consequences for our family. Rebekah, an RA, will be able to come home on Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving, but she'll have to go back to school, and work, on Thursday. Yup, Thanksgiving Day. It's not something any of us are happy about, but it's also not something any of us can change, so I'm determined to make Thanksgiving wonderful for her, for us, for me, anyway. There'll be a lot of changes and challenges the next few months, too many activities, too many practices, too much in the schedule. Not having people we love here, budget worries. I'm determined to live each day to the fullest and let go of what I can't control. That's what I'm dreaming anyway.
{reading} Katy Carter Wants a Hero by Ruth Saberton. Pure fun chicklit. I'm also reading Sarabeth's Bakery and Macrina Bakery and Cafe Cookbook. Both of which are challenging me to stretch my cooking skills. Chasing Vermeer is next in our mother-daughter book club so I'll be starting that soon.
{excited} Another date night! I know!! I've decided we've been married for 28 years, we need to take time together. It's too easy in the hustle and bustle of life to lose touch. I love our date nights and they do a great job of reminding us why we like each other.
I'm excited to go see Liberal Arts. It looks good, hopefully it will be and hopefully we'll have a lot of fun together. Yes, it's very expensive to go out, the babysitter alone is $10/hour, but I'm trying to look at it as an investment in our family, and a vital one at that.
{working} I've started making daily and weekly to-do lists. It helps keep me on track and gives me a feeling of accomplishment. With working from home, and working with small children, sometimes it's all too easy to feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. Making my lists, crossing off goals reminds me that I am. I've also struggled lately with feeling like so much of what I do is not what I'd like to be doing. Contrary to what I would have thought, seeing my lists of mundane chores getting crossed off reminds me that I'm doing the most important thing in the world to me, taking care of my family and taking care of other little people. No, doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, grocery shopping, etc., etc., may not be the most important things, but building a home making our home safe, and comfortable and nurturing, is. All those non-glamorous chores add up to equal something pretty special and I'm thankful for that. Working on keeping my perspective.
{praying} Jacob has a 6th grade retreat at church this weekend. I'm praying he feels part of the group and bonds with some good kids. One of the reasons we joined this church was because I wanted Jacob and Julianna to have a group, I think it helps in your faith journey to have a community supporting you. Praying this is another step along the way for Jacob.
{cooking} Well, I have a meal plan, that's helped a lot. A meal plan and a grocery list seriously go a long way to keeping me on track. For example, tonight I wanted nothing more than to run out for a bite. After working all day and doing all the things that need done around here and and and, sometimes I just don't feel like cooking dinner too. Tonight, knowing that the salmon was defrosted and marinating, the rice was in the rice cooker, I knew not cooking was not an option. Once everything was done and we sat down to eat, I was so happy I'd made the effort. Tonight's orange chicken and my mouth is watering already. Yummy and fairly simple, my kind of weeknight dinner.
Thanks for coming by. I hope you've had a good week and that your weekend is full of wonderful things.
Like {ing} life? Join in! Every Thursday I'll post an {ing} life post and a Mr. Linky link. I'd love to see your post.
Thank you for the blogging idea to Abby at Murdock's Mama.
1 comment:
Wait, wait--they made a movie about an admissions officer and no one told me??? Thank you for the tip! I must go!
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